In a super chaotic October (which has been going on since don't know how many years ago), I seriously am in hell. Gosh.
The working schedule which is in a big mess, where I could only squeeze those fucking gap time to do replacement, where I could only cancel / return the fee to students. Sorry, I just don't have enough time to do all the work.
The work has filled 80% of my life, where I could only have 10% for my violin, 5% for studies and the rest for myself. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, I just need more understanding working colleagues and clients.
How do I fucking work, study and still organise my own recital? Oh man, the journey is adventurous. But it's coming to an end soon, where the next more challenging project is coming in November.
Big fear of opening my Whatsapp with tonnes of unread messages from clients. Gosh, I need to breathhhhhhhhhhhh.
Super blessed to be able to go back home for 2 days last week. It was a fun trip, despite bringing violin back and practice right after I reached home and still woke up early on the next day for warming up before mum and I went to Penang. Life as musician. Yep.
Managed to visit my primary and secondary school, the route I used to think of whenever I meditate. It felt calm, to come back. To look at the wide blue sky without buildings blocking; with more trees and peeps. To be able to dress ugly shamelessly is the best. That's the point you come back to your home town.
Rushed back to KL on Saturday morning and straight working after I reached in the morning. Usual working schedule and extra gig rehearsal just now.
hmmmm, I feel bit overwhelmed. Not anxious, but just done. Quite done.
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