31 / 12 / 2014

剩下最後的十六分鐘 腦子真的擠不出來任何東西。

我只是想說 這一年所有事情 我大致上都完成 不會有任何遺憾

唯一會感歎的事情就是 時間怎麼過的那麼快啊。

記憶最深刻之 2014 瘋狂事件就是向你告白了哈哈

猶豫糾結緊張導致月事沒來一個月 就是為了拿一封心意滿滿的情信給你

恩 這是我從來不會後悔的事情。

你不喜歡我 沒關係那就算了

我信息你 你不回復不理睬 也就算了

聖誕節最後一封信息 祝你幸福，你從台灣回來了 我也天真以為你會簡單祝福我一句

可是原來我在你心目中根本扯不上屁 呵。

原本打算 2014 年之內可以把你忘記好好去努力

可是原來到今天早上依然夢見你

夢裡我跟你就像哥們一樣那麼要好 即使連做夢也知道這是不可能的 可是真的就是不願醒

如果從注意你開始算起 我已經注意你一年了 JOHN !

最後一天我想為自己留點尊嚴 不找你不曉得你會不會想起我 曾經有一個很白癡的女孩為了拿信給你坐在你後面。

我的喜歡一點都不偉大 我就只想佔據你 可是倘若你擁有的話 你完全不會想去佔據一個人。

我都有努力去信息你們每一個人 如果漏了真的很抱歉 信息我再補回哈哈

我愛你們  感恩今天還活著 感恩父母家人還健在 感恩朋友不散 感恩世界依然美好 感恩國家依然太平 感恩所有辛苦付出的人們讓我們不會挨餓 感恩你們所為我做的沒一件事情

你們太棒了！

新年快樂！

29 / 12 / 2014

倘若可以那麽一次 我很想任性的失憶一次。

離最後一次爲了別人難過的哭泣到底是在什麽時候？

原來我不是個超人 我不能不哭泣堅强的面對事情

藏在心裏的垃圾原來不倒出來真的會出事

這一年來的事情藏至現在就快滿了 沒有好好的宣泄一下真的會崩潰。

想好好大哭一場 可是想想到底又什麽事情讓我如此難過了呢

我就是個名副其實的婊子。

和我做朋友 我會在我們友誼做個期限 超過這段期限我會用盡全力去觀察你 衹要發現你有些我看不順眼的地方我就會對你開始有偏見就會到處説你的壞話。

我就是個婊子

我不允許讓身邊的朋友和我喜歡上同一個男生 如果真的是這樣我會結束我們的友誼。

我是個婊子

我的負面情緒以來我就整天板著臉 不想和你説話

在這幾個月受了一些不必要的心疼  在意了一些狗屁人物  更多是發了無理取鬧的脾氣

我之前説過這一個放假我想好好封閉自己

原來真的不行。太失敗。

是時候大哭一場 因爲誰都好就當作爲了自己。

不要怪我太冷淡，我已經把心里的那扇門關閉起來了

哈哈在乎得太累。

當初期望太多了，一下子承受太多的失望 我怕我堅持不住

我不是超人，呵。

23 / 12 / 2014

One day left and it's christmas eve!

After the performance, I feel I'm celebrating new year now. The mood to celebrate christmas is over.

It's almost three months, I still can't forget him. You guys don't know what is the feeling of loving someone that is not interested on you but you can't simply let go of him plus no one can't understand what's your feeling. IT IS SUCKS.

Does he worth? I keep asking myself but is that true that you can control your own feeling?

Too much of questions playing in my mind like, 

' WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO REPLY ME? ', ' WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME? ', ' HOW CAN I LIKE HIM SO MUCH AND HE DOESN'T KNOW AT ALL? ', ' IS THAT TRUE THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHANCES GETTING TOGETHER? '.

Yup, no one can give you an answer. You have to find it yourself.

Thanks god and I feel appreciate for letting me to have a chance to meet you.

Maybe I should convince myself

I DESERVE BETTER.

NOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVE BEING STUBBORN! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! BREAK WHOEVER HEARTS YOU LOVE! DO WHAT THE SHIT IN YOUR LIVE! 

WE'RE TEENAGERS! MESS THE LIFE!!!!

19 / 12 / 2014 ( Special Day )

Today is a special day. It's a day we need to celebrate grandly. But, the two most important people are not around me so I'm going to write this special post for you two. 

DEAR YONG JUNHYUNG

At first, I don't like you very much before. You seem like always in a bad mood and I don't really like a cool guy though. But after I started know or try to know more about you, I found that, yup. You're a very talented guy. I just love all the things that you have. You love us, That's enough. 

And now I'm getting worry about you. PLEASE. Just find a girl and love her as hell. All we want is you guys can live happily. ( hahaha I don't know how to describe my love but WE'RE BEAUTY. WE'RE BORN TO LOVE YOU GUYS . BEAST DAEBAK )

Okay, next. I'm going to write this for a special girl which is very important for me all the time and this is the first time she is not around me when it's her birthday.

EVA HING

( ignore my mouth = = )

We started to stick around together when we were 4 and our friendship never ends. Of course there are many arguments and a lot of things happen between us but time doesn't separate us, right?

We have known each other for 12 years and if I have a kid, he / she 'll be standard six right now. LOL

Times flew, next year will be the last year for 98's batch and I am really really appreciate the time we are being together. hahaha 

Thanks for guiding and teaching me a lot of stuffs and values in our lives when I'm miserable and sad, thanks for sharing a lot of happiness, helps me when I'm really need a hand indeed and thanks for lending your ears, you know I love to scold and always say something that is not nice to hear but it seems like you don't care. You always hear it patiently. And this is the place I really feel grateful about.

I miss the time when we laughed together and YOU always did some stuffs that were super embarrased, ya I guess you know that.

You are the one who know me very much. One eye-contact and we know what's going on, it's cool right?

Honestly, until now, I'm not sure that I know you very much. Ya, I know you don't love to share or express your feelings when maybe you're sad or being emotional. But we're good good friends, I want to know more about you too. 

Of course you have a lot of bad habits too like maybe a little bit of violence ? LOL, And I really don't understand why people love you so much. = = ( ya, I'm still looking for the answer. LOL )

Seriously, you're awesome, all the time. My dear dear dear friend. 

REMEMBER? THERE'LL BE NO SECRETS AND DISTANCE BETWEEN US.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU.

When you're back, I'm going punch you so hard. And this is how I express my love for you, EVA HING.

For all my friends

Yup, what I want you all to know is I'm  always willing to help you no matter how. But, if, it is not a big deal, c'mon. PLEASE DON'T ASK ME A FAVOUR. Hey, I'm busy you know?

But seriously, if you really need me, and if I can do it for you. 

YEA, call me. I'll always be there for you all.

VELENNA TEOH 

17 / 12 / 2014

Staying at house and didn't hang out anywhere makes me feel like I've been separated with this whole world. LOL. What did happen in this world is not going to bother me. I just want to read my book quietly without any distraction or disturbing. 

Friends keep saying that these years I've been mature a lot, I mean mentally.

Though I can't really control my anger, but at least I won't get angry easily. ( IS THAT TRUE?! SUCH A HIGH PRAISE! )

I'm finding a lot of ' HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EQ ' that kind of books you know.

But I found it's not working to me. Maybe I don't have any feelings while reading this kind of books.

I am wonder, how can you cry so sadly when you're reading or watching? ( EVA HING, huh? )

OKAY MAN, it's just a book or movie = =

I don't love to express myself, if I do.

First, I trust you.

Second, I've been kept the feelings deep in my heart for a long time and I can't bear it anymore.

Seriously, I'm boring x3

I know I love to write the same thing again and again and again. Keep repeating.

IT IS ANNOYING. THAT'S TRUE.

If you have the same feeling, why don't you try to write a post using ENGLISH but not broken english ( at least same with me LOL )?

English is fun. Tag me or simply inbox me if you write it in your blog too! 

See you.

16 / 12 / 2014

It's less than one month and we're going to celebrate new year again. Have you done all the things that you wished in this wonderful year and start preparing for the next year? Do you write a to-do list that you're going to do it in the next year? Well, I don't expect much. I just wish that people around me stay happy and healthy all the time. Since it is our last year in school, haha maybe a little bit of sadness but I really wish that our friendship will stay longer no matter how far we are. I LOVE YOU. Keep it in your mind coz our friendship never ends.

People leave for a reason, if they want to go just forget about it. Never let yourself being hurt from the others. Appreciate what life gives you. You're AWESOME! 

Broke up with him is the thing that I'm proud of myself  all the time. If a relationship suffers you more than gives you happiness, yea believe me, just piss them off. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Then there is a guy walks into my life. Yea, don't ask me why he chooses to walk instead of run. = =

You can change it whatever you want. Maybe rolling over, jump, or I let him in.

You guys never see him except two bitches that we tuition along.

Cute is not suitable for a guy especially who is taller than anyone. He's cool, handsome, nice... Okay, don't always pay him compliments. Although he doesn't like me, yes I know but just like what I've said in the previous post, I want to like him as hell.

FORGET ABOUT MY BROKEN ENGLISH. YOU GUYS HAVE TO MOVE ON. DON'T ALWAYS POINTED OUT THE THINGS THAT ARE NOT THE POINT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

13 / 12 / 2014

I know I'm a little bit of annoying, you know. But I'm too BORING ! ( SNARLED )

I dunno what to write what to say but I feel like I wanna or I have to write something in my blog or else I feel like a gut in my throat, means uncomfortable.

These days, I just, maybe lock myself in house and keep reading PERCY JACKSON and I found it it really drives me nuts. I wanted to share the stories and inside jokes with you all but it seems no one understand. ( emo )

Don't ask me why I always persuade you all to read it. There is no reason for reading a really good book. Nope, it's a series of books.

I hope I really don't annoy you haha. And although it's a lame post, I wish you all guys have a good weekend. GOOD NIGHT.

13 / 12 / 2014 （ 感恩篇 ）

无聊时想玩电脑 结果开了电脑却不知道到底自己想干嘛

哈这是神经病的前奏。

參加了生活營老實説我真的沒怎麽跟你們分享我真正學到的東西

其實我也衹有兩個收穫 ：做苦力 和 感恩

你們都不知道 每天都過著收拾幫忙照顧被駡遲睡早醒的日子

不是說不能挨苦 可是爲什麽參加這個生活營反而感覺就是做苦力 = =

好 我絕對沒有埋怨什麽 因爲在家裏幫忙的技巧總算可以發揮了。

四天三夜如果在以前我肯定哭的眼睛快瞎了 可是參加這次的生活營目的就是要讓自己變得更獨立。

所以無論晚上多想媽媽多想家都告訴自己 長大了 真的不許哭。哈哈哈

感恩夜那天真的讓我感觸良多 就在第一個游戲環節我就哭得眼睛都紅了

接著當我們圍著圓圈點亮蠟燭的時候 營員是可以走向前把心裏想説的話説給父母聽。

孝順對你們來説到底是什麽

從小到大我們都可以很大聲的對父母或者身邊的人說我長大了一定會孝順父母的

可是 孝順 真的衹有等到了長大才能去實現嗎

難道 孝順 就一定是要等到父母老了沒有能力的時候我們才給予金錢或者陪伴嗎

原來不是欸 原來我們衹需要好好對待他們。

好好靜下來思考 爲何我們總是可以用最溫和最友善的態度對待朋友情人陌生人可是卻把最不耐煩的態度都留給了親人。

原來在生活中我們都忘了感恩  衹會拼命的索取 卻忘了最基本的感恩。

我們生病的時候 最爲我們擔心的到底是誰 朋友來的一封簡訊：你好點了嗎

我們感覺好窩心 那是因爲其實朋友沒那個必要來關心你，可是，家人呢？

多久我們沒有擁抱父母了叻，沒有好好坐下來陪他們聊天了？

原來父母真的老了。

原來再多一次的節日 我們都東奔西飛了 接下來的每個新年 我們真的可以抽空回來看一看他們嗎

假期我不想出去是因爲我想好好留在家裏 其實説到底就是懶惰哈哈哈

好好多珍惜接下來的一年 因爲可以每天在家陪父母的日子真的不多

或許我寫的東西對你來說不算什麽 畢竟每個家庭都有不同的問題

可是品良心說 你們的父母都虧待你們了嗎

在你最開心得意的時候 你們第一個時間都想到了父母了嗎

可能看著這堆密密麻麻的文字對你來説不算什麽

這也是我在生活營學習到的哲理 ？ LOL

放下心來陪一陪他們 真的 他們會感受到的。

祝 ：天下偉大的爸爸媽媽

身體健康 永遠快樂

12 / 12 / 2014

兩個相愛的人，一旦有一方提出分手的要求，另一方會感到痛苦，是很自然的事。但是，不管有多痛，分手時，你都不要和曾經愛你的人和你愛的人説出狠心的話。你好好想一想：這個世界上，能傷害到你的人，一定是你愛的人；能讓你受傷的人，也一定是你愛的人。不然，他怎麽有機會在你心上刻下傷痕？他怎麽有資格讓你在情海浮沉？

如果命中注定要分手，你還咬牙切齒地説那些可笑的狠心話，有什麽用？你説出一堆狠心的難聽話，他就會回到你身邊嗎？你又怎知，他不會因此用鄙視的眼光看你、打量你、打量你這個忽然變得歇斯底裏的陌生人？- 別愛得那麽苦，別讓快樂跟著你哭泣

雙魚座的人都很愛胡思亂想 這點我就大方的承認了。

其實這幾個月來真的都會在考慮到底應不應該找回他 ( EX ? hahahha LOL )

找回他其實沒有什麽想法 當然就是不可能求複合 ( 你蛇精病啊啊啊啊啊 )

可能衹是敘敘舊 ( 你敘個屁啊啊啊 )

就是抱著 多一個朋友好過多一個敵人 的心態吧 

正確來説 可能就是還自己一個交代 一個欠缺自己的交代然後就大大方方的好好放下他

恨一個人太辛苦了 可能詛咒靈驗了吧 分手之後感情就亂糟糟 ( 明明就是自己神經病 )

好了 我開始討厭括弧裏面的字 = =

就像書裏寫的 明明曾經相愛到可以爲對方去死的兩個人怎麽會料到自己也會有這樣的一天。

看回以前的東西才發現天啊 白癡就不用多説了 以前的自己都活得比現在幸福 = =

我應該慚愧了嗎 !

負面的人永遠衹會看到不好的那一面 自己一直在不好的回憶裏頭打轉真的就是神經病的症狀 = =

感恩這個人出現在你人生 雖然衹是個過客

可是仍然感激生活里有段日子的確過得很開心

留下的美好回憶 我會好好收藏 至於不好的 我也沒有打算忘記就當作給自己一個小懲罰。

雖然目前爲止沒有想到你到底有什麽好 哈哈哈

最想感激你的就是分手了依然給我那麽多的仇恨 = = 

到分手前一秒都還要詛咒我 還要在微信寫我壞話 

其實我就是因爲這兩句話糾結個半年哈哈哈哈

沒錯我就是小氣啊 小氣要你命了嗎 ( 哦天自言自語的白癡張涵佩回來了)

好吧 雖然我也還沒決定要不要再去找你 可是我決定好好放下你了 

放過你放過我自己 阿彌陀佛

乃是東土大唐御弟前往西方拜佛取經 平僧是唐玄奘。

我在想哦 ( 每天想想想想個屁哦 ) 如果我是孫悟空 在你詛咒我的當時我會毫不猶豫翻筋斗雲到你家一棒敲死你

幹

（ 你分明就還沒放下啊 ）

9 / 12 / 2014

寶貝的假期呆在家裏衹有兩個目標 ：好好沉澱自己和好好看書

所以真的沒事的話不要叫我出去  我真的不想曬太陽。

都快幾個月了 結果想忘掉和放下的心情根本就是不存在 LOL

每天抱著可以和你有少許機會的期望 感覺我簡直就是快瘋了。

當我們愛上一個人時，如果我們認爲自己能給他最好的，我們會深信他和自己在一起，會比現在來的更好。假若沒有其他更好的，那麽，我們可以選擇擁有他、守護他；倘若不是，那我們最好在一旁祝福他、保護他、呵護他。雖然會覺得不捨得、不願意，但是，愛他，就是全心全意爲他好。- 別愛得那麽苦，別讓快樂跟著你哭泣

TO JOHN :

我一直在想 倘若真的有那麽一次機會我們可以深入瞭解對方 你會不會真的喜歡我，我又會不會覺得其實你很普通？

接著仔細想多一次 我發現我真的瘋了 = =

每天無所事事想一大堆傷心傷肺的事到底爲了什麽

雖然還不能全心全意真心的祝你幸福 可是我還是希望你會快樂。

我不知道你的比賽將在什麽時候舉行 我知道做自己愛做的事情一定會讓你覺得很快樂

你很幸福哈哈 因爲你可以帶著我最滿滿的祝福去臺灣比賽。

願你 身體健康 永遠快樂

VELENNA TEOH

4 / 12 / 2014

IMMAMONSTERGIVEMESOMEBLOOD

4 / 12 / 2014

Sometimes we just wish that someone will listen to you, talk to you and love you.

PS : This picture has its meaning. I thought i can post it earlier when i was in a relationship with him. Yea, everyday he will gimme a good night kiss. If you ask me wether it is sweet? 

I'll reply : HE IS SUCKS.

4 / 12 / 2014

A person who cares and remember about what he had promised. WHOEVER IT IS, HEY I LIKE YOU.

3 / 12 / 2014

It's DECEMBER now, is the christmas month. Without the disturbing, do you feel more happy and free? I have too many stories, questions, secrets to talk with you. Time didn't decrease the feeling that I had on you. It just makes me feel worse. I hate being alone. Everyday i keep checking on my phone, my FACEBOOK account, i scare if i can't reply you in the time but the excitement always changes to dissapoinment. Yea maybe i love to lie to myself but JOHN. I've waited you for how long and i can't promise to find more and more excuses for myself. I don't think I can hold this anymore. Next year, we're going to meet each other again. I don't care about what people's think. OKAY, just say like that. 

I CARE THE MOST IT'S YOU. THE OTHERS JUST FUCK OFF.