It has been the 14th week in here, the last week of class. Starting from next week will be everyone's study week but ours exam week.
Having flute exam tomorrow morning which I haven't really practised. It's not I don't want, but I really fed up in practising it because I don't see any improvement.
Daniel has been here for almost two months, everything seems so good but we did have a lot of arguments too, in terms of getting used with each other's living style.
Before the end of 2018, I have myself a hair perming, with my love Eva Hing. It looks just so nice and I really love it.
I have allergy since October which I haven't figured it out why because everything seems so normal to me. Mom said my immune system is down.
BTW, this year, I'm more musically educated. I went for a lot of concerts, I let my exposed more to music and everything now I'm with, is basically music. Maybe different genre of music.
It is such a blessing for me, thank god, thank you everyone for letting my dream comes true. Indeed you will sure face some days which you don't feel like practising and wanna runaway from those thing. It's perfectly fine. I love my life tho.
2018年12月19日星期三
2018年11月18日星期日
DAY 71
After so much of emotionally ups and downs, finally chicken is here.
I've been waiting for so long with all my hearts and finally he is here. Everything here is perfectly fine.
Listening to I'll never love again- Ladygaga from the movie 'A star is born'. Still can't get over the feelings after watching the movie despite it was two weeks ago.
Was having so much fun in Taiwan last whole week during school holiday, deepavali.
So blessed to have a lot of nice memories and I've had so much good food with me. Happy tum tum!
It has almost come to the end of 2018, I've met so many people this year and I'm so blessed.
No words can describe how excited I was at the first place when I got into Black Kettle, it was such a goooood place with all the good vibes and good food. And not to mention because I was with Poh ai and Soo Yong them, the memories when we walked to work, and Soo yong and I went to kacau Poh ai during her work and we slept there.
And! The most importantly I always went to Spade burger to do my work, chit chat and eat there, because of Soo yong of course.
And the sweet sweet memories I learnt vocal with teacher Carlo, which I was so enjoyed and I still can't get over with it too.
And then, it comes to a which was not-so-pleasant memories when I was working in the other restaurant the 9ine which I might be losing interest in working as a waitress, I didn't put a lot of effort in it, and of course because of the ambience of working. Not to criticise that much, but blessed it! I learn how to identify good people and not-so-good people.
Last thing, I met chicken! Those ups and downs which made us today were too much to tell, but we will bear it in mind and try to work it even harder.
What I'm trying to tell is, I'm so blessed to have so many of you to love me unconditionally, my mom, my sis, my friends and chicken. You da best. You are here when I need you the most and you never push me away which I really appreciate a lot. Even you do, you make me who I am today.
Can't thank you more than that. I love you. xoxo
I've been waiting for so long with all my hearts and finally he is here. Everything here is perfectly fine.
Listening to I'll never love again- Ladygaga from the movie 'A star is born'. Still can't get over the feelings after watching the movie despite it was two weeks ago.
Was having so much fun in Taiwan last whole week during school holiday, deepavali.
So blessed to have a lot of nice memories and I've had so much good food with me. Happy tum tum!
It has almost come to the end of 2018, I've met so many people this year and I'm so blessed.
No words can describe how excited I was at the first place when I got into Black Kettle, it was such a goooood place with all the good vibes and good food. And not to mention because I was with Poh ai and Soo Yong them, the memories when we walked to work, and Soo yong and I went to kacau Poh ai during her work and we slept there.
And! The most importantly I always went to Spade burger to do my work, chit chat and eat there, because of Soo yong of course.
And the sweet sweet memories I learnt vocal with teacher Carlo, which I was so enjoyed and I still can't get over with it too.
And then, it comes to a which was not-so-pleasant memories when I was working in the other restaurant the 9ine which I might be losing interest in working as a waitress, I didn't put a lot of effort in it, and of course because of the ambience of working. Not to criticise that much, but blessed it! I learn how to identify good people and not-so-good people.
Last thing, I met chicken! Those ups and downs which made us today were too much to tell, but we will bear it in mind and try to work it even harder.
What I'm trying to tell is, I'm so blessed to have so many of you to love me unconditionally, my mom, my sis, my friends and chicken. You da best. You are here when I need you the most and you never push me away which I really appreciate a lot. Even you do, you make me who I am today.
Can't thank you more than that. I love you. xoxo
2018年10月28日星期日
DAY 50
Just came back from hometown with my sis and received mama text when I got to my hostel.
She texted me that she felt sad because she could not do the lemon juice for me as she wanted to do it for me this morning.
I spent one night at home on Friday and one night at chicken home on Sat and got back today.
It hurts me at the moment when I realised mama actually still loves me a lot as I thought I should be doing and managing all my things by my own when I came into university.
As she said, she is trying to let go, try not to care that much and enjoy her life, which I'm sincerely so happy for her.
But in fact she is not. She still loves me, cares about me so much and worries for me in every aspect.
Gonna spend a whole sweet week with her next week and I can't wait to go holiday with her despite I miss spending time with chicken too.
Can you ever imagine, how blessed life can be when everyone loves and treats you so good?
All these are so fake and dreamy for me. And what I can only do is take good care of myself and do what I'm supposed to do.
Sleep well, eat well, poo well, study well.
I love my life so much right now. And I'm writing this with so much of loveeee.
PS: Without my sis who is being here for me, my starting of uni life would be a big mess too.
LOVE YA.
She texted me that she felt sad because she could not do the lemon juice for me as she wanted to do it for me this morning.
I spent one night at home on Friday and one night at chicken home on Sat and got back today.
It hurts me at the moment when I realised mama actually still loves me a lot as I thought I should be doing and managing all my things by my own when I came into university.
As she said, she is trying to let go, try not to care that much and enjoy her life, which I'm sincerely so happy for her.
But in fact she is not. She still loves me, cares about me so much and worries for me in every aspect.
Gonna spend a whole sweet week with her next week and I can't wait to go holiday with her despite I miss spending time with chicken too.
Can you ever imagine, how blessed life can be when everyone loves and treats you so good?
All these are so fake and dreamy for me. And what I can only do is take good care of myself and do what I'm supposed to do.
Sleep well, eat well, poo well, study well.
I love my life so much right now. And I'm writing this with so much of loveeee.
PS: Without my sis who is being here for me, my starting of uni life would be a big mess too.
LOVE YA.
2018年10月10日星期三
DAY 32
Wow, it has been one month I'm here.
No worries, I'm doing good over here. And I loveeee the course so much.
Am very excited for the coming of chicken and I can't wait to do a lot of things and explore KL with him.
Last week my lecturer told us, LIFE ISN'T EASY AT ALL. You think those PHD can graduate so easily meh? If you are not going to work harder and harder, in the end you'll just be eliminated or kicked out from this competitive society.
And I felt so guilty for wasting most of my time doing nothing. One of my pandai things is, I'm quite good in pretending I'm hardworking, which is not.
And I know if I keep pretending doing many things but not, eventually my life is a nothing.
Not to mention my dreams, my goals and my integrity.
I'm not good at all, but I'm willing to learn. I learn and practise everyday, allowing myself to be lazy at some time but I will keep motivating myself because if I'm not gonna push myself, no one else.
I read a quote yesterday: Don't act like you're working hard, because the result will show everything.
And it is damn 7 true.
I don't take part in any activities yet, and most of the time I have my meals alone. And this gives me so much of space to think what I'm gonna do next. Self heal is the most powerful.
I live at my own pace, my own world, doing things I love, which is everyday I'm surrounded by music. Seeing all my course mates they are working hard too prevents me from being lazy too.
Not sure chicken is still reading my blog or not. Take good care of your body and I love you.
No worries, I'm doing good over here. And I loveeee the course so much.
Am very excited for the coming of chicken and I can't wait to do a lot of things and explore KL with him.
Last week my lecturer told us, LIFE ISN'T EASY AT ALL. You think those PHD can graduate so easily meh? If you are not going to work harder and harder, in the end you'll just be eliminated or kicked out from this competitive society.
And I felt so guilty for wasting most of my time doing nothing. One of my pandai things is, I'm quite good in pretending I'm hardworking, which is not.
And I know if I keep pretending doing many things but not, eventually my life is a nothing.
Not to mention my dreams, my goals and my integrity.
I'm not good at all, but I'm willing to learn. I learn and practise everyday, allowing myself to be lazy at some time but I will keep motivating myself because if I'm not gonna push myself, no one else.
I read a quote yesterday: Don't act like you're working hard, because the result will show everything.
And it is damn 7 true.
I don't take part in any activities yet, and most of the time I have my meals alone. And this gives me so much of space to think what I'm gonna do next. Self heal is the most powerful.
I live at my own pace, my own world, doing things I love, which is everyday I'm surrounded by music. Seeing all my course mates they are working hard too prevents me from being lazy too.
Not sure chicken is still reading my blog or not. Take good care of your body and I love you.
2018年9月21日星期五
Day 12
I'm here in KL for 12 days, almost 2 weeks, progressively good for now.
Were being too emotional last few days until I felt my world was gonna tumbling down without chicken.
After I spoke to chicken and friends all over Malaysia, I knew I gotta fix this problem ASAP or else it would be meaningless for me to stay here and study since I couldn't concentrate at all.
I started to think and think why was I being so offensive to everything in school and I started to list down things I gotta do everyday and try to complete it.
Every task I wanted myself to complete in the day would be marked with a tick if I'm able to do it.
The other thing would be, I will focus more on my studies rather than on chicken even I still miss him so badly right now.
It actually works! I don't know why, but I keep reminding myself and take soloist and composers as someone I should learn from.
To be precise this is the only third day I'm being more to myself, more happy and enjoy what I'm currently doing.
But, I still miss chicken very much. Reread all the old messages and pictures is my daily routine when I'm free. Those old good times were too good, to be able to see each other everyday, hold hands, cuddling in the sofa with good movies and even with the simplest dinner we could have were amazing when I was in Penang.
Once my senior told me, those 9 working months before you enter university will be the best memory you can ever have in your life. And I totally agree with that.
It is ain't easy at all to have long distance relationship. But distance makes our relationship even stronger and closer. Physical distance ain't a thing as long as our heart isn't far apart.
I know you have been busy with your work all these while, I love you baby.
God bless you.
Love, xoxo
Were being too emotional last few days until I felt my world was gonna tumbling down without chicken.
After I spoke to chicken and friends all over Malaysia, I knew I gotta fix this problem ASAP or else it would be meaningless for me to stay here and study since I couldn't concentrate at all.
I started to think and think why was I being so offensive to everything in school and I started to list down things I gotta do everyday and try to complete it.
Every task I wanted myself to complete in the day would be marked with a tick if I'm able to do it.
The other thing would be, I will focus more on my studies rather than on chicken even I still miss him so badly right now.
It actually works! I don't know why, but I keep reminding myself and take soloist and composers as someone I should learn from.
To be precise this is the only third day I'm being more to myself, more happy and enjoy what I'm currently doing.
But, I still miss chicken very much. Reread all the old messages and pictures is my daily routine when I'm free. Those old good times were too good, to be able to see each other everyday, hold hands, cuddling in the sofa with good movies and even with the simplest dinner we could have were amazing when I was in Penang.
Once my senior told me, those 9 working months before you enter university will be the best memory you can ever have in your life. And I totally agree with that.
It is ain't easy at all to have long distance relationship. But distance makes our relationship even stronger and closer. Physical distance ain't a thing as long as our heart isn't far apart.
I know you have been busy with your work all these while, I love you baby.
God bless you.
Love, xoxo
2018年9月13日星期四
Day 4
Good morning peeps! Preparing to attend my class later which is only half an hour *facepalm
I miss my vocal teacher so much and I think of him everyday most probably. It was such a wonderful moment for me whenever I was with him. And singing is such a happy thingy.
Feeling so blessed as I'm surrounded by people with so much of loveeeee and good songsssss.
It's going to be a great day.
xoxo
I miss my vocal teacher so much and I think of him everyday most probably. It was such a wonderful moment for me whenever I was with him. And singing is such a happy thingy.
Feeling so blessed as I'm surrounded by people with so much of loveeeee and good songsssss.
It's going to be a great day.
xoxo
2018年9月12日星期三
Day 2
Having my class today and I was so regret for coming back on this week, because that lecturer talked nonsense and released us in an hour.
If I weren't coming back on this week, I can spend more time with mama and chicken. *cry
But since I come back, aiyah no choice lah.
Were so moody just now until chicken called me about his stuffs. How much I wish he were here when I need him the most. But I know this is the time for me to grow up.
Anyhow I'm super excited for his coming. And I'm feeling so guilty because everyone is worried about my nuisance homesick.
I'm sorry world. I don't mean that, is just you're my closest person and I am a little bit selfish to spread my negativity for you.
But, remember, I love you guys.
BTW, I went for exercising this morning in order to distract myself. And my muscle is super painful right now.
GOODNIGHT, xoxo
2018年9月11日星期二
Day 1
Forget about the horrible mhs week, tomorrow will be the first day of class, the first day of my uni life.
As we had 4 days to go back to hometown, it made me even harder to come back here, the new place, everything is just new.
When I went to Taiping to start my form 6 life, I thought I had already mentally prepared that I could be able not to rely on anyone else. Same thought happened when I went to Penang to work.
But that were with the accompaniment of my two lovely friends.
I was wrong. I thought I could be independent enough to handle myself until I knew I left my heart on chicken there. I can't concentrate at all and keep wanting to go back, go back to his side.
But I know we gotta grow together. I know I gotta be strong. I know everything! Is just I'm not that strong at this moment.
Sorry for spreading the negativity to you guys. I love you. And I need to borrow some strength from you.
PS: I love you chicken
As we had 4 days to go back to hometown, it made me even harder to come back here, the new place, everything is just new.
When I went to Taiping to start my form 6 life, I thought I had already mentally prepared that I could be able not to rely on anyone else. Same thought happened when I went to Penang to work.
But that were with the accompaniment of my two lovely friends.
I was wrong. I thought I could be independent enough to handle myself until I knew I left my heart on chicken there. I can't concentrate at all and keep wanting to go back, go back to his side.
But I know we gotta grow together. I know I gotta be strong. I know everything! Is just I'm not that strong at this moment.
Sorry for spreading the negativity to you guys. I love you. And I need to borrow some strength from you.
PS: I love you chicken
2018年9月1日星期六
1/9/2018
Last afternoon before I have my uni orientation, sitting on the bed, near to the window which I can see those high buildings in KL.
I'm grateful because mom is coming with me, dad wanted to. But too bad there was no space for him anymore.
Poh Ai is going to Terengganu now, which takes almost 8-9 hours. Still remember that day when we trio were saying goodbye to each other and a song related to friendship popped out. And I knew I would cry because that is me.
And I told Soo Yong, I will look up to the sky whenever I miss two of you. It sounds a bit too over hahah but I did mean that.
Because in the end you will have your own circle of friends, your own life and those old good days may be remained just as memory.
I miss my chicken tho. Goodnight world and I can't wait to enter my uni tomorrow.
I'm grateful because mom is coming with me, dad wanted to. But too bad there was no space for him anymore.
Poh Ai is going to Terengganu now, which takes almost 8-9 hours. Still remember that day when we trio were saying goodbye to each other and a song related to friendship popped out. And I knew I would cry because that is me.
And I told Soo Yong, I will look up to the sky whenever I miss two of you. It sounds a bit too over hahah but I did mean that.
Because in the end you will have your own circle of friends, your own life and those old good days may be remained just as memory.
I miss my chicken tho. Goodnight world and I can't wait to enter my uni tomorrow.
2018年8月29日星期三
29/8/2018
Last day staying at home before leaving, you may be calling it as final touch up, but I haven't gotten ready yet at all.
I even rushed to the bank for the statement at the very last minute. I knew it! I knew if chicken, you are reading this, you must be goyang goyang your head left and right. No doubt, this is your girlfriend.
Shirts not yet prepared, shoes, and everything you can count it out.
Having quite complicated feelings right now, it feels like people around me are busy with my stuffs, keep nagging me to make sure I can really take good care of myself which I love it, saying goodbye to me and hoping for the next meet up.
Well, good luck friends and all the best.
I even rushed to the bank for the statement at the very last minute. I knew it! I knew if chicken, you are reading this, you must be goyang goyang your head left and right. No doubt, this is your girlfriend.
Shirts not yet prepared, shoes, and everything you can count it out.
Having quite complicated feelings right now, it feels like people around me are busy with my stuffs, keep nagging me to make sure I can really take good care of myself which I love it, saying goodbye to me and hoping for the next meet up.
Well, good luck friends and all the best.
2018年8月24日星期五
24/8/2018
6 days more to go before I leave my home sweet home and another home.
Spending most of the time in doing nothing because I have totally no idea what to do, and procrastination has always been my thingy.
Was feeling insecure at the first time and now I'm getting used to it because I know I will not be the only one who miss home or not used to stay with strangers or not used to everything in a new place. And I know I will not be the only one who is being so ' korbao '.
And these make me feel easy easy.
I know what I'm going for. And I'm kind of excited in pursuing dreams I've been waiting for since form 6 despite I know I will miss a lot of people here.
Hey chicken, I don't know when will you start reading my blog but no worries, you're always in my mind. (puke
Spending most of the time in doing nothing because I have totally no idea what to do, and procrastination has always been my thingy.
Was feeling insecure at the first time and now I'm getting used to it because I know I will not be the only one who miss home or not used to stay with strangers or not used to everything in a new place. And I know I will not be the only one who is being so ' korbao '.
And these make me feel easy easy.
I know what I'm going for. And I'm kind of excited in pursuing dreams I've been waiting for since form 6 despite I know I will miss a lot of people here.
Hey chicken, I don't know when will you start reading my blog but no worries, you're always in my mind. (puke
2018年8月9日星期四
9/8/2018
We have finally settled everything down since it has come to August.
Just came back from Indonesia Mount Bromo with Poh Ai, Soo Yong and Jocelyn, which was 4 days 3 night adventurous trip, or we called it as the last gathering for us before enter university.
We are separated far far away from each other which makes me feel so insecure when they are not around.
One is north, one is east and I'm in the centre.
Gotta leave home, gotta leave papa mama, leave ma partner in crime and my friends.
Going to a new place, meet new friends, study real deep in my music.
Everyone knows my dream, but guess I'm the only one who feels not confident with myself.
But thank god, I have supportive family and friends.
Talk about the trip, it was a real adventurous trip.
We climb the mountain in the midnight with freezing temperature, we lay down on the grass enjoying the thousands of stars in the sky, the sunrise, we rode horse to mount bromo.
Most importantly, we laughed all the way in our journey.
This will be my best memories in my life ever and I hope it will not be only one.
Feeling so emotional right now, I miss the saliva king aka chicken aka partner in crime.
Haven't seen him in days and I missssssss him even im with him everyday. LOL
Okay well, I'm having homesick even im in home sweet home right now.
Gotta leave my comfort zone. And im freak out. Anyhow, good night guys. xoxo
Just came back from Indonesia Mount Bromo with Poh Ai, Soo Yong and Jocelyn, which was 4 days 3 night adventurous trip, or we called it as the last gathering for us before enter university.
We are separated far far away from each other which makes me feel so insecure when they are not around.
One is north, one is east and I'm in the centre.
Gotta leave home, gotta leave papa mama, leave ma partner in crime and my friends.
Going to a new place, meet new friends, study real deep in my music.
Everyone knows my dream, but guess I'm the only one who feels not confident with myself.
But thank god, I have supportive family and friends.
Talk about the trip, it was a real adventurous trip.
We climb the mountain in the midnight with freezing temperature, we lay down on the grass enjoying the thousands of stars in the sky, the sunrise, we rode horse to mount bromo.
Most importantly, we laughed all the way in our journey.
This will be my best memories in my life ever and I hope it will not be only one.
Feeling so emotional right now, I miss the saliva king aka chicken aka partner in crime.
Haven't seen him in days and I missssssss him even im with him everyday. LOL
Okay well, I'm having homesick even im in home sweet home right now.
Gotta leave my comfort zone. And im freak out. Anyhow, good night guys. xoxo
2018年5月23日星期三
23/5/2018
I have had my diploma violin exam last Monday, 21 May which I have been preparing for months.
It was a good experience even though everything was the same, I still manage to learn something new when I was practising with teacher.
Anyhow, I feel so free as a stone in my heart has finally disappeared.
Now, I'm waiting for the offer letter from university for my course.
Not tryna lie but im really excited and ready to enter the new chapter in my life.
Feeling that im losing my passion to life recently. IDK why.
Is it because we are doing the same thing again and again or im already tired of what im doing right now?
Perhaps I have to go back to check with my inner self and have a good talk with her.
I believe she will give me a satisfying answer.
Just in case you worry about me and wanna ask me is everything fine? I'd say, yea sure.
Everything is fine until we people forget to appreciate and take all thing for granted.
I make mistakes and learn new things everyday. We meet challenges in our life as well.
But that's how life should be. As long as all my loved ones are living happily and healthily, that is what im hoping for.
Girls, love ya.
It was a good experience even though everything was the same, I still manage to learn something new when I was practising with teacher.
Anyhow, I feel so free as a stone in my heart has finally disappeared.
Now, I'm waiting for the offer letter from university for my course.
Not tryna lie but im really excited and ready to enter the new chapter in my life.
Feeling that im losing my passion to life recently. IDK why.
Is it because we are doing the same thing again and again or im already tired of what im doing right now?
Perhaps I have to go back to check with my inner self and have a good talk with her.
I believe she will give me a satisfying answer.
Just in case you worry about me and wanna ask me is everything fine? I'd say, yea sure.
Everything is fine until we people forget to appreciate and take all thing for granted.
I make mistakes and learn new things everyday. We meet challenges in our life as well.
But that's how life should be. As long as all my loved ones are living happily and healthily, that is what im hoping for.
Girls, love ya.
2018年5月9日星期三
9/5/2018
After working non stop for almost 2 weeks in new place, the 9ine we finally have some spare time to chill.
Sitting beside me who is my partner in crime, finally we have some time to do our own time. It has been such a long time we have our own time even though we see each other everyday.
It was a wonderful start since the first spark between us.
Okie, not tryna say much. Anyhow, I love you guys. Goodnight.
Sitting beside me who is my partner in crime, finally we have some time to do our own time. It has been such a long time we have our own time even though we see each other everyday.
It was a wonderful start since the first spark between us.
Okie, not tryna say much. Anyhow, I love you guys. Goodnight.
2018年3月14日星期三
14/3/2018
AHHH such a long long time. Listening to my current fav song- lost star, using my new laptop to do some research regarding my further studies.
Off of work for few months to prepare my diploma exam, yup, after almost 2 years I decided to come back to do my diploma.
Before I leave, my boss asked me: What does it mean to you even you got your diploma cert?
TBH, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure I will die satisfaction.
Working for more than two months was the greatest thing I have after form 6 life, I have finally gotten the freedom I wanted for a long time. I met new people, new environment, probably start my new life after those sucks and bad vibes.
I'm kind of grateful everything is still here, but new things just keep popping out.
Yup, doing well for now and kind of excited to meet new things everyday.
Guys, im still a happy kid, well, maybe with more mature thinking or wider eye view hehe