3 / 12 / 2015

Finally it ends the exams. Listening the song that touches my heart and mind so hard, Adele in the cold, raining night. The voice, is the best for me.
I can't make you love me if you don't. This is how she sings so perfectly, so emotionally.
What can I do? What should I do so that you would put your attention on me even a second?
I'm gonna have to think about it. Teoh Hanpei All the best!

1 / 12 / 2015

Hooray ! It comes the warmest, sweetest month, end of the year DECEMBER.
Thursday will be the last paper of SPM and what I really feel is, time flies. It really does.
It was like yesterday, I was still dreaming about when will come to the end of the test and now be like oh my goodness I m leaving this lovely home soon. TT
I have told myself, brain washing myself, and trying to conquer my fear for being alone tomorrow.
I love to stick around my mom and I have totally no ideas how am I going to survive LOL
I found that lots of chinese students don't sit for chinese paper. Seriously I don't know why.
Maybe your school doesn't have chinese teacher or subject, that's another story. But since you can sit for the exam, why not?
Isn't our responsibility to stand for our mother language?
So how if there's no more chinese school in the future?
Indeed. It's difficult, but I don't care. We are so important to let everyone knows, we have to unite and protect our culture and all sorts of these. You know what I'm talking about right? LOL
But still, reading the poems, those lyrics make me faint. WTH it is trying to tell me = =
Well, it has been awhile since the last post, I brave myself and trying to end all of the sad things before new year.
I saw lots of negative issues within this year and it does really heartbreaking. Why humans?
Let me conclude for the year 2015 which is, trying to focus on the good things doesn't mean that bad things never happen, isn't it?
But, everything happens happen for reasons, let it go and just keep the good stuffs in our mind. Life will be easier, right?
I will be texting you whenever I think it is a perfect time. And let myself being hurt again and end this nightmare in this year.
I'm so sure that it will be a NO from you, but who knows?
If it is a YES, I swear to the RIVER STYX I'll give you my best, but if it really does, I will end this.
Don't wanna suffer anymore. My heart has been hurt and shattered into pieces. Let the other to heal it if you are not the right person. BTW, I like you so much. GOOD LUCK FOR ECO PAPERS, FRIENDS!

7 / 11 / 2015

Seeking for guidance and opinions from others and start to think and plan what's next.
It's normal to feel miserable right? No matter how people tell you what you should and what's the best for you, we just want to try and choose what we really want.
If someone told you, the road in front of you is difficult to walk as it's a muddy road and full of stones and pebbles and you might fall or hurt yourself. But it isn't true. We have to walk on our own, fall down, hurt ourselves and that's life.
Every experiences in our live is precious. It doesn't count if others tell you what to do.
This is how my dream.
I wish to go every places that I've listed down and watch the scenery of every places. Feel the atmosphere while staying at the country. Communicate with the local people and help them in case they need me.
Going to wild jungle and observing wild life animals, etc.
What I really want is get close to the nature. I love it and dreamed to be a farmer when I was small.
Some of them tell me, YOU CANNOT. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DO IT.
But some others say, OF COURSE YOU CAN! YOU HAVE TO CATCH YOUR DREAM BEFORE IT DISAPPEARING!
Uhm, still considering what course I wanna choose and I'm very excited with it.

6 / 11 / 2015

Hi peeps! After this struggling week, there are still 7 subjects waiting for us.
But let's take a break. You don't have to push yourself so hard. We need to take a breath before combat with others subjects.
It's exams season and I'm craving for food so badly.

I have listed down all I want to eat in my mind. Eating is one of motivations to me.
I do need motivation as my life seems dull and the only entertainment I can enjoy alone is watching handsome guy and imagine there are full of delicious, mouth watering, finger-licking-good food in front of me. I need food so badly. TT
I feel so happy like staying in the heaven when I imagine someone to be my husband in the future. hahah isn't it pisces girl used to be like this? Love to imagine, love to sink in the world belongs only myself. LOL
Anyway, I'm very happy about this and don't wanna make any changes.
Dudes, this is what I'm always talking to myself. Don't give up. You've studied for 11 years or even more and you did pull through. Please try your best and fight till the end. Everything will eventually show up and prove that you deserve for such a good result. All the best for all candidates of SPM, we still have 7 subjects to go! Hooray

30 / 10 / 2015

Well, 2 more days. If what is destined will eventually come to us.
Feel like wanna scream or cry or bang the wall so badly huh. You think like I'm too free is it?
My answer is, YES!

I'm too busy with doing nothing! There are still tonnes of chapters and lot of formulae to memorize. zz
And, I'm still doing nothing. Owh C'mon. CHILL LAH
It is raining heavily here. And I don't know what should I say. Anyway, GOOD LUCK huh. LOL
cucumber

18 / 10 / 2015

Congrates huh! We only left 2 weeks for the FINAL HORRIBLE TERRIBLE SPM
My mind still blur and procrastinating as usual.
I know I have to work hard but since I have so many subjects and topics that I don't know, I have totally no ideas how to start it. You guys know that feeling right? LOL

DEAR JOHN,
       
           My pressure of trying to perform well in my test is getting bigger and bigger. I miss you all the time and how much do I wish you were here to tell me not to worry about anything. Telling me that you're always here for me, and you've prepared to work together with me. How many times I use my super imaginary to calm myself down, telling my heart I should concentrate on the more important things. But you know I can't right. Every time I study in the silence, I think about you like you're staying beside me, giving me a broad smile with cute dimples as you always smile like that. Aww, you're so adorable and I feel like wanna give you a kiss as a reward for accompanying me. This is how my imagination supports me during my ups and downs. I tell the whole world that I like you. But you're the only person which I can't tell. I'm planning to text you after SPM, let you know that you are written in my part of my stories. But, what's the point to let you know? Everything is just the same except of my heart. It will be experiencing the incident again and the bleeding wound is like being dig it again. Someone said love is such a complicated but simple stuffs. For those who are in relationship, unless you've been through this kind of struggling moments, you wouldn't know how hard it is. So, stop calling us like an idiot because it's not easy to meet someone that you love and he/she loves you too. You may be too lucky or this is what you deserve for having your lover. You're lucky and I have a advise for all of you. You better don't like a guy before he likes you. Be more patient and wait for it to happen because men usually don't appreciate on things girls have done for them. I like you and am so willing to wait you.
You might say I must have out of my mind but I tell you what, Love is like a POTATO. LOL

#Seeyouinmadream #GOODNIGHT

3 / 10 / 2015

Just have my lunch just now and going to update my blog.
Feel scare of losing my parents tho. We are getting bigger and papa n mama are getting older and older until the day they can't walk, can't even bathe themselves, lose all the teeth, need our attention, protection and need us to really take care of them.
Since when I started realise time is getting little and little to be with them. Realising the futility of life when you're watching your parents getting older but you can't do anything.
I'm leaving this house very soon. I can't even promise I can come back often.
Too much of love keeps in our heart as we have no ideas to express it.
We often get angry with them, refuse to listen to their advises, act like we are already mature and big enough so that we don't need to hide or stay under their protection anymore.
But guys, no one will love you and protect you until the last day of life,  but parents.
How much do you love your parents? Is it a metre long? Or like the diameter of our mother Earth?
What I keep telling myself, ' you don't have much of time to be with them. You have to appreciate the precious time to be with your papa and mama. You're leaving soon and there's no one in the house to accompany them, chat with them, help them anymore. Your sisters are not in house, when you leave it soon, they only have each other. You said you love your mother right? Then why don't you do some house chores to help and reduce the works of your mother? ' And I swear to the RIVER STYX I am going to take care of my parents no matter what.
I don't want everything. There is no such thing in the world that is more valuable ad precious than your family. A house without parents that's just a house, but not a full of warmth, love home.
Starting from today, ask yourself. How much do I love my mom? Will I buy something for my parents when I am outing? Will I miss about my parents when they are not around me?
Oh, I may be write too much. Perhaps all of you can get some inspiration from me and start to spread your love to the world.

PS : I may be not a very good girl in da house, but I do really love my parents. Be grateful of what you're having now. Love is hard to find but it is in the air.

#Ilovepapamama

2 / 10 / 2015

Dreamed about you the whole night long. I felt tired in that dream because as usual, it never ends with a good ending.
Finally can have a closed look at you, had a chance to talk to you, but in the dream, still, I didn't dare to walk close. I lost the chance.
Still wanting to get near you, wanting to talk to you, wanting to fight for the only opportunity to know you, hoping miracle will be happening, wanting to be your lovely girlfriend, wanting to support you no matter what, wanting you to love me and protect me and wanting to tell the world that you're mine!
Attempt to reach you, but I failed.
Yea, it has been a year since I took the letter to you. Been admiring and liking you for almost one year and I still couldn't move on.
You still look gorgeous, with spec, white skin, cute dimples, bright teeth, height that really super match with me, and .......  you're just nice.
Maybe I watched at you too many times so I got a nightmare like this last night.
But I don't have the feelings like last days anymore. Even in ma dream, I know it was impossible and I knew what to do, keep a distance from you at least I can by your side with my own way.
When the moment I knew we only left 2 more lessons, I feel so relieved. Sounds odd right. But when I think of you, about I am not going to see your face anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA so siok!
Well, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR SPM.

24 / 9 / 2015

Seriously guys, I think you should know why I keep using English to update ma blog.
First of all, my font goes odd when I use chinese.
Secondly, I start to get used by using english.
Today is my mom's birthday and I don't have tuition class. So today is considered as a lucky day for all of us, right?
After watching the movies, my target seems clearer and I'm motivated to go for it.
Ever felt miserable in your life? That sounds gross right?
Still 30+ days to go. During this period, do you work hard so that you can perform well in your exams? Have you sat down and discussed with your parents about what do you wannabe in the future?
' Future ' is like too far for us to talk about right now. But who knows, we merely left a few months.
No matter what do you wannabe tomorrow, please. Be who you wannabe and be kind-hearted.
The world needs us. I beg all of you, please don't do something that possibly hurt anyone.
We are going to apart. Maybe for some of us, it will be the last time to see each other, joking with each other.
I love y'all. Do not forget you had a bunch of friends in your secondary school life. I'm sure it will be the most memorable memories for all of us.
Sorry for always updating such negative posts, but whenever I thought we are going to the real world later, I feel sad. It is not about we are going to leave each other, I'm just afraid we don't have any chance like now anymore and our secondary school life was just like ' BOOM ' and gone.
We only live once. Thank you for being crazy, lovable, kind, naive, passionate and hard-working.

#TO: MYSELF

ANYWAY, I LOVE MA MOM, MA FAMILY AND MA FRIENDS.

24 / 9 / 2015

前幾天看完了 長大。
結局真的不是我想要的 這件事害我糾結了好多天而且還認真想了想可能發生或者應該這麼演的結局 你說我是不是入戲太深了呢。
可是我倒是看出了一件事 就是呢。如果一個人足夠喜歡你 他是不會讓你走的
你真的不需要故意的為他想千百個理由他為何不找你呀 還是一直等待著。
原因只有一個  HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

17 / 9 / 2015

I got bad grades for my trial. I feel down, like a whole world has abandoned me. I am left behind.
Of course there's comparison between friends and I, myself. I feel lost in the forest of knowledge.
You guys want to help me to reach the goal, yes I know.
I try to put a lot of efforts on it but I know I'm still missing something. I need guidance.
My mom, teachers, friends, and I expect for a good grades. I know I can't simply fall down like a coward.
I need to stand up and complete my task-study for 13 years, I have to.
But everyday I look at my marks, I feel smaller and smaller. I don't even dare to ask other's marks.
I just want to express my feelings. I know it is worthless if you keep grumble and do nothing.
#SPM GOOD LUCK

9 / 9 / 2015

Have you ever noticed things or people around you?
Would you stop all the things you're doing and started to observe ants on the wall?
Fuck, I feel boring anyway.
Good morning everyone, yesterday was the last day of exams. I feel like I have released my soul to the freedom of the sky.
Ahh, the weather today is super good, birds fly in the wide-spread blue sky, warm shining sunlight, sound of raindrops and gentle cool winds are so comfort and it's a perfect time to stay on your bed, roll over your blanket and sleep like a pig.
But I have chosen a better way to enjoy this lovely morning! I want to share my happiness with all of you. haha
Seems like I have nothing to write but I still have a very strong urge to update my blog.
After all, I'm going to enjoy a movie. woohoo. So match with this kind of weather.
You guys must be jealous on me. IKR. hahaha
Don't worry, you still can read my blog.
For this meaningless post, I would like to beg for you pardon. You guys are still awesome!
Have a nice day and goodbye!

PS : I can feel it through your empty eyes and I can hear all the screaming thoughts in that chaotic mind of yours. One day you will realize that this moment and the ones before and after, will shape you into who you are and will be. Feelings are not permanent. Life is temporary. But you, you can take it and make it worthwhile. — Ming D. Liu
Such a beautiful sentence yea. #ENJOYYOURLIFEWHENYOURESTILLYOUNG

7 / 9 / 2015

When I was attending my sis's wedding dinner, it made me so touched.

So many memories was like water gushing into my thoughts. I did really think about you.

How much did I wish that you were sitting beside me. But no more sadness or whatever feelings tho.

I smiled when I think of you, it's a smile which I know you're not into me but I feel so fortunate that you have came into my heart.

You must have lost your direction or else how could you been walking for so long and still couldn't find a way to come out from my heart?

But I know you can do it. I can let you go whenever you want. So, I'm waiting.

Waiting for you to walk out from my heart so that I can move on.

Hey, I'm still missing you sometimes. Do you know that? 

But there is a good news for us, which is I'm trying to let you go and I think I'm on my way to make it possible.

You must feel relieve right? So do I. Anyhow, I know you're having your trials and I wish you all the best. 

Lastly, I want to tell you a secret: you're the best person that I have ever met in my life.

4 / 9 / 2015

Hi, I'm going out but I steal a little bit of time to update ma blog.
I would like to say is, I have a bad attitude.
Since I feel not confident to myself, sometimes, I will let people down as what my friends do to me.
It's bad. IKR. But it's like a trend. When people around you doing the same thing, usually you'll do it as you think nothing's wrong.
I have a friend, not too close but seems okay. She lets me down for almost 3-4 years.
What does it mean letting me down?
Yea, she doesn't say any words somehow related, but I can feel that feelings though. I feel low self-esteem and don't even dare to meet her gaze whenever the problems closed to the subjects I'm not sure abt. ( mostly subjects I can't perform well. haha )
It's like something sharp pricking in your heart. For years, I still can't get used to it. Being look down by someone is acceptable but when the person is your friends, it's quite hurt for me.
So I keep telling myself, all is good. Everyone has its good and bad. Do not judge someone by your opinion and measurement.
Yea, I feel so fortunate to have you'all staying beside me. I know some of you will stand by me ( maybe? ).
Whatever it is, thank you for training me and helping me to become a stronger person. I'm blessed to know you and it's my pleasure to know you.
It lefts 2 more days for trial and we are allowed to enjoy our last one-week holiday although the real exam is coming. Anyhow, enjoy life and it's so good to be young!

#There is no need to compare yourself with others. You are too good with the way you are.
#Have a nice day yea

A Confession

Hahaha I'm preparing biology and suddenly turn out in front of my computer.
NOOO I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON THINGS TOO LONG. It's too hard for me TT
I have to keep moving and walking around so that I feel tired and go to sleep hahahaha instead of study.
I'm the one who always keep confusing myself. There's no need to worry about, if you can, you can. If you can't, then there should be no reason for worrying something anymore, right?
So, if you are worrying about your exams, relax bro! Do it as usual and enjoy it, maybe like... sleeping during exams? hahahaha
If you have the problem same with me-so hard to focus something too long, then you'll understand why I always sleep whatever and whenever. CHILL lah.

I have something to tell my friends. I DON'T THINK it is a best time to discuss abt it plus I'm getting tired to talk again and again.
Anyway. I think you can guess it or think abt it yourself?
For the chit-chat last night, I'm very sorry for not considering abt your feelings. But the feelings in Langkawi was worse than yours maybe hundreds or thousands times.
Something must be playing in your thoughts, ' Why are you keep talking this topic all the times? Don't you feel annoy? '
Yea, I know. Even I'm controlling myself not to mention it, but honestly, I won't forget those feelings. It's my prob, same like you. It's our problems when we feel uncomfortable to someone.
Please don't feel sorry for me. I'll consider for ten times whether should I or not to hang out with you ( long journey ) next time. I'm very sorry abt it because I can't bear the disapointment for watching you with your boyfie and I was alone in Langkawi. No handphone to cover my uneasiness, no one to talk to. Watching you guys walked in pairs and I was like ... ' you're asking me out and now I'm enjoying with myself? WTF is this? '
Okay, this is my opinion, maybe next time, if you're going to spend your time with your boyfie, just don't call me out. THAT'S ALL.
I don't like to see couples since I came back from Langkawi. You guys would never understand how was my feelings at that time.
I was blaming myself so much for promise you guys I'm coming with you but doing nothing. I used to cover my real feelings by doing all the stupid things. IKR, you won't realize it.
What I was thinking and expecting before going to LANGKAWI was we were going to chit-chat in the night, drinking maybe beers and I had so many things about John to tell you that time and I was so heart broken. I still can remember that bitch face that I was showing up throughout the trip ( hoping he'll reply me when he was free). And someone keep putting me down, saying a lot of no good words to me.
All of my expectations were just my expectation. You guys walked with boyfie, leaving me with CSC, sitting on the beach which I was planning all of us should be enjoying our girls talk after comfortable showers.
CHILL LAH. It's over and doesn't matter anymore. Just don't think I'm a weird-thinking person, that's enough. HAHA
Just wanna let you know, having a group of friends do not mean all of us have the same opinions and thoughts. So, friends are like matching-pairs-game. If you like his/her character, don't lose the chance to become good friends! If you are not, MAY THE GOD BLESS YOU.
Again, sorry for neglecting your feelings. IKR. But have you guys ever thinking what was my feelings that time?

22 / 8 / 2015

考试时期 又在放纵自己上网来更新部落。怎么办呢每次都选择逃避宁愿做点家务就是不愿意读书。
本来是有好多的话想要感慨一番 没办法 只要自己独处就会特别感性特别没有安全感。
可是我不想说了哈哈 只是想要上来说说最近的情况我就知道你们很想知道我过得好不好哈哈哈
几米说：别为我忧伤，我有我的美丽，它正要开放。嘻
有时候我挺纳闷的 觉得身边的人拥有我想拥有的幸福和快乐。
我也好想让自己过得幸福 所以我努力改变了自己的想法。有什么好羡慕呢？每个人也都在努力过上自己想要的生活不是吗？
想要让自己开心第一手册：学会感恩。
ANYWAY 我相信自己真的有很努力的想要让自己过得很好！
今天天气挺不错的  唔。 努力读书然后休息一会儿吧！加油

8 / 8 / 2015

Happy 8 / 8 / 2015 !
Haha looking back my previous posts  AGAIN and AGAIN !
Mom said, nothing is worthless. Every drops of tears will let you learn something that are valuables in life.
So, every posts that I've posted, I become more and more mature, resistible, stronger and powerful ! HAHAHAHA YUCK
I'm quite confuse with myself. I feel energetic and positive when I'm alone.
But if you ask me out and I hang out with a group of friends, my depression, tension, frustration and bla bla bla anything negative emotions will overwhelm me.
So I keep grumbling and complaining. I don't act like that when I'm alone and I don't know why.
If you want to be confident, you have to feel comfortable when you're alone.
LONELINESS doesn't mean when you're alone. It always happen especially when you're with friends and you feel you don't belong to the group.
IKR. So, I'm trying to conquer my negative feelings though it's sooo hard.
Keep learning in every moment. Be well-prepared and improving yourself no matter how hard the life is.
YOU DESERVE BETTER, VELENNA TEOH.
LET US TRY TO MAKE THE WORLD MORE BEAUTIFUL.

7 / 8 / 2015

Hi, it's been awhile. You guys still waiting for my post? LOL
I'm recovering but still need some timeeee, but it's okay because I have a new motivation now.
Don't worry about me though I keep complaining haha.
Just because someone failed to see your worth, doesn't mean you are worth any less.
I want you to feel the happiness when you're with me. But IDK whether you guys feel happy or not when you stay with me.
HAHA forget it. Tell you a good news. I found a way to let me temporarily to forget something bad and yet I feel so comfortable even when I'm alone.
See? When you don't focus on the bad things, happiness finds you. I'm quite enjoy the time when I'm be with myself.
Science is so IMPRESSIVE. When you don't understand deeply, you won't realize how amazing it is.

Most of the time I don't really understand myself. WHAT DO I WANT?

Everyone is your life-teacher. They teach you lessons that you can't learn in textbook.
I'm quite grateful for all the things either it's happy or sad that I've been through. I love you guys.
It's a nice weather today. Why don't you call out your buddies and go for a jog?
#APPRECIATETHETIMEWEAREHAVINGNOW
#BEPOSITIVEANDENJOYTHEMOMENTYOU'REHAVINGNOW

26 / 7 / 2015

偶尔我好想好想好想好想好想好想好想任性一次 想跑到你身旁跟你说有时候脆弱时候我会多想你

想跟你说 当初对你的期望太高所以才会跌得那么重

想跟你说 我读书好压力想听你告诉我不要让自己那么累

想随便拨起电话就可以对你撒娇的样子

想每一次补习都和你聊天学校发生了什么有趣的事

想和你谈谈我的梦想 你那么优秀一定会有一些我也认同的看法。

可是我不行。我不可以这样放肆自己胡思乱想 因为我不想再陷下去了

我必须控制我的想法。

好好逃避一阵子这样久了也就会习惯了。

揪着痛的心痛久也就会麻痹习惯了。

我很喜欢每天都承载的失望 是不是这样久了我就不再期待任何事情？

没什么 只是想要任性一次上来发发关于你的文。

PS : 这几个星期都好好的 干嘛要在我心灵还不够强大的时候又在遇到这样的事情 TT 吼讨厌啦！天 可不可以不要再折磨我了。放过我

24 / 7 / 2015

刚刚和爸爸申请驾车去补习 心里已经有了最坏的打算怎么知道爸爸很开心的跟我说 好你小心点。
天 又是一个乱七八糟的老爸。
到了差不多该冲刺的时候了 距离 SPM 还不到 100 天
你们都准备好了没有
我只准备了 25 %  怎么办 我还得拯救地球呢。
我有在开始努力了 可是时间好像开始不够了  我开始紧张了 因为时间好像真的不够了。TT
这几个星期都很乖 都没有乱想 都把时间和精神寄托在 忙读书和上网看最近有什么新发现还是有什么动物又在减少的咨询上。我过得挺充实的。
可是干嘛命运总是喜欢开玩笑 干嘛要在我决定彻底放下的时候总是给我一两次我以前希望得半命的事情发生。
为什么要让我的心跳又再有感觉啊  我也不想这样 可是地上根本不好想。
是不是等心灵足够强大的时候才会有人想来保护你  那好吧我也不着急可是拜托不要再让我们相遇 请不要让我们再有 50 米以内靠近的距离了 我累了干令娘啦

雪中送炭篇

这几天都打算要上来更新可是电脑太慢了 所以就呕血不能更新了。
刚好今晚有东西做又刚好突发状况 所以逼不得已开口求救 因为平时虽然一直麻烦人家就觉得小麻烦还好 可是大麻烦要拜托人家真的很难开口。
搞得我有点委屈。哈哈
为了奖励一下你 我就把你列入我伟大名单之一咯 ~
谢谢你 黄怡静 哈哈







其实容易嫉妒别人的人并不完全是心里素质不好 往往他可能只是比较缺自信和安全感。
因为想要得到赞赏 想要被大家接受和喜欢 而又得不到的时候嫉妒就会开始蔓延。
其实这样的内心很丑陋 因为每个人都特别的地方可这个说法又说服不了自己。
所以 LEH  我想把我藏了多时的小心结说出来。不然这样我会憋死掉。

为了让自己从凡人升至神级  我要好好消化自己的负面情绪 如果逼不得已只好把它吞下去。
要学会欣赏每一个人都优点  每一个人都是每一个人 并不是一个人。耶  今天天气很好啦 这是一个幸福的理由!

# 每一个人贡献一点小小的力量 您便可改变世界
# 拯救地球人人有责
# 晚安

12 / 7 / 2015

刚刚才看到日期 终于明白为什么昨天的中国好声音是马来西亚站的
原来今天不是 18 号欸  = =
这几天都会常上网 因为我必须把我的 BIO 读完 学校老师教的都是屁。( 我是乖学生啊 )
现在的时间是 10:50 AM  多一下就去上课 ( 开始有兴趣的 CHEMISTRY了哈哈哈 )
7 月了才开始有点爱上 PHYSICS 和 CHEMISTRY 会不会有点迟了呢。
一直担心自己不能把考试做好 害怕自己会让自己失望 让大家失望 承担的压力虽然不会很大可是自己给自己的压力有时候真的会喘不过气来。
有那么舒适的环境读书 那么体贴的父母 ( 每次在我读书时候拼命跟我说话 )，我觉得我还挺幸福的呀 ~
明年也可能会考 VIOLIN DIPLOMA 天 我真的可以做到吗 ?
身材又越来越肥 我不想变矮矮肥肥的丑女子 可是有办法吗 我又懒惰运动
ARGH !!!

哈哈哈 每天带着这么多烦恼过生活老实说我很幸福 真的。
不要再为别人难过了 真的不值得 况且他也不会知道你多喜欢他。喜欢自己就好了。
趁着这个颓废单身日子 我要进行修炼。
远离世间尘俗 我要投入科学的怀抱 !

11 / 7 / 2015

It's a lovely Saturday. I'm so hungry and waiting EVA HING to deliver my lunch for meee..
Normal day, normal mood, everything just seems normal. Aww, I feel good.
I don't want anything happens suddenly either it's good or bad.
NO surprises neither shocks. I want to concentrate on my studies to achieve my dream- TO SAVE THE WORLD  hahaha.
BTW, I'm wondering how's my life gonna be in the future.
To keep my enthusiasm goes on, I have to keep imagine my life will be very fine. ( even it's not LOL ) Geez
Hey there, if you like me, please stay there huh.
I'm a girl who full with thorns. Kindly advise DO NOT APPROACH ME.
Thank you. Have a nice weekend tho ! Muacks.

25 / 6 / 2015

What a complicated feeling today huh?
Reading a lot of posts that really make me furious, sad and disappointed.
Extinction of animals, the inhuman-treated of animals to get its skin, eating dogs' meat, the polluted environment, illegal trades etc.
GROSS
Dreaming to be a vet one day.
Maybe one day I have the chance to join and together, to save the world which is sick right now.
Maybe you don't have the sense about how critical it is about our Earth, maybe you don't have the knowledge about how to protect our environment, maybe you just simply don't like animals, but please.
You have to. Because we are sharing the Earth. No one seems to be more smarter or stands higher.
In a different way to say, we too are animals right?
Okay  actions speak louder than words.
You literally can save the world by your small actions.
Switch off the light before you leaving it, do not litter as you wish, control the time you enjoy air-conditioner, practice car-pooling, no smoking, plant more trees, and the most important is BE KIND TO THE STRAY DOGS AND CATS AND OTHER ANIMALS!
They have to suffer from the hunger, the weather ( the cold during the night and the hot during the big sunny day ), yet they still have to find water to support their live.
If we gather our strength and do our best, I'm so sure that we would have the chance to enjoy the peace and serene world.

PS:// There is a website which is all about the latest news about the nature. Be patient and have a look. It does inspire me all the time! Enjoy, good night!  ( Sorry for the poor grammar )

INFINITE 2

千萬不要替我感到難過。
還記得我曾經偷偷喜歡他那害羞的表情嗎？
還記得你們一直鼓勵我的時候嗎？
還記得你們一直聽我哭訴嗎？
還記得他回復我信息我那興奮的表情嗎？
還記得我以為我們有機會時那幸福的時刻嗎？

這些都是快樂的。你們只要一直在我身邊就夠了。

INFINITE

這幾天情緒大起伏 認真想了想，你們說的沒有錯。

愛是永恆的。它只是用了不同的方式呈現，用不同的人表達。

愛 是一種永恆的力量 它可以讓你在最低落的時候給你一道溫暖的陽光。

是什麼讓我堅持喜歡你那麼久，是天真。

喜歡你的程度可以讓我真的相信   在飛機場等待一艘船。

為了證明自己可以犯賤到什麼程度 我決定繼續信息繼續等待繼續期待。

可是我想 我已經失去了當初對你最原始的喜歡。

朋友給的鼓勵和希望 是我堅持喜歡你的第二個理由。

相信如果你願意踏出一步，我可以毫無犹豫向你走前 99 步。

沒關係，都是我太天真。

我不要再原地踏步了，我要走了 你會不會捨不得？

我想你肯定不會，就像你從來都不在意一樣。

你太優秀了，看來 我們不怎麼適合。

謝謝你。

LOVE IS INFINITY

31 / 5 / 2015

Such a lovely Sunday and I spent the whole afternoon on my bed. Kind of satisfied hahahaha.
Missing my fav character, missing the one I miss a lot, a cozy weather. Such a perfect match.
Eva Hing went shopping and she must have forgotten me, but it's okay. #she never remembers me all the time so I have to cheer myself : )
Kind of in a very good mood today. So even the most simple things can make me happy.
I feel like I have known you for years. I can try to understand what you are thinking and I want to stay with you and sharing your ups and downs.
Although you failed me most of the time, I want, I must, I'm so willing to believe that you are worth for me to wait.
You're not going anywhere until I wanted to forget you. Geez. Before that, let me feel the presence of love from you.

Imma going to get my car license and the stress is too overwhelm and I couldn't release it. GOSH, do wish me luck. #THANKYOU

大日子

想一想今天是什麼大日子。( 待會告訴你們 )

今天天氣超好 心情超好 吃得飽飽 聽著陳奕迅的歌更新文
說雙魚座的人愛浪漫愛幻想真的是不假的 ( 什麼意思 ) 哈哈哈
每天喜歡活在自己幻想的世界當中 做著一些不可能實現的夢 可是還是沒得否認這樣真的超爽。
最近日子還算混得不錯 因為終於找到一個
#小白癡閃電婆閃電老公的女人鼻毛長長跑出來還不要修剪的惡心的女人頭髮的CHEESE粉可以準備500份的意大利麵享受被我欺負超白目隨叫隨到曾經絕交現在又好得半命常常被我敷衍現在又被我出賣把所有不是秘密的秘密爆出來的一個超級無敵麻吉的神經病好閨蜜潘淑榮#
的人類耍一下。科科
別忘了，我有功夫在身。況且我的男人可是超級霸氣厲害的男人 ( 續上篇 #PJILY )
哈哈哈哈哈 好啦 其實對生活沒了熱情不算是壞事啦 雖然頭腦有點遲鈍 反應有點反常 情緒有點亂七八糟 喜歡欺負身邊人 喜歡取笑難過的人 這樣也不算壞事啊 是嗎

讓我有點小竊喜的事情是呢 我自身對

#超級討厭每天針對我一個星期不罵我會中風一看到我就破口大罵我也不知為毛這樣只覺得莫名其妙曾經教過我拿 A 我很感激可是每天針對我讓我不想尊重他褲子穿高高喜歡罵人家水牛的黑皮老師#

這個人類已經開始進行 IMMUNE SYSTEM  趕緊恭喜我 想必我再被罵多幾次就可以完全對這個人類麻木得毫無感覺 就像蒼蠅停在屁股洞一樣。





差點忘記 為了回饋你們再招新的粉絲呢 我決定等我有空的時候錄歌來折磨你們。
這幾個星期每天坐在最後一個位置 除了要煎熬我回答不出的考卷還有就是每天面對一大堆人可是又不能說話的痛苦  為了娛樂自己我唯有跟自己說說幾句話和唱唱幾首歌。今天考完 PHYSICS PAPER 3 問了旁邊的

#別看頭圓圓 ADD MATHS 可是非常厲害而且喜歡吃西瓜而且全身上下都是粉紅色除了有點冷漠可是人算超好對我有點耐心又有點不放棄考試一直幫我的陳紫盈#

我 ：坐我周圍的人都一定很煎熬每天聽我唱歌，你覺得我會很吵嗎？

#別看頭圓圓 ADD MATHS 可是非常厲害而且喜歡吃西瓜而且全身上下都是粉紅色除了有點冷漠可是人算超好對我有點耐心又有點不放棄考試一直幫我的陳紫盈# ：‘  。。。。。。。。。。。。。。不會啦 ’

我 ：。。。。

結果還是被嫌棄了。科科

我會努力唱歌 誰理你們喜不喜歡。





答 ：今天考試完了誒 !!!!

HAVE A NICE DAY THO !

#PJILY

He recovered the sky's lightning bolt.
He healed the tree with pure gold.
He held up the sky with his mortal hands.
He destroyed the maze within ancient lands.
He was the savior of them all.
But he could not resist the Queen's call.
Thus he traveled to the Roman's place.
His memories had all been crushed, erased.
He proved his bravery yet again.
With new companions by his side and a pen.
The Roman's eagle retrieved
From the cold lands and he leaved
A mark which cannot be seen
But of giants the land was clean.
He found his past after a while,
A girl's name he kept in file.
The seven mortal gods were to be
The greatest their world has ever seen.
This boy, he remained courageous still.
His place, no one could fill.
What is his name?
PERCY JACKSON, wild and untamed.

12 / 5 / 2015

這個幾個星期都是考試周 爲了假勤勞 我決定犧牲看神雕俠侶來證明我的真心。
昨天我的讀者向我計算了我已經沒有更新多久了 剛好情緒也有點到位 所以我今天就破天荒的更新簡單又複雜的文。
其實不能怪我懶惰更新 我很少時間開電腦 就連開機都需要好久的時間 真的很讓人嘔血






由於之前下定決心衹要心裏還是有負面情緒就不再更新以免讓你們感到心煩 可是真的很抱歉 我仍然沒有從錯誤中學習因爲直到今天我仍然過著過分頹廢的生活 加上現在是考試期 小幽默的我除了每天亂説話亂喊亂叫真的沒有什麽正面能量帶給你們。
每次好好跟身邊人説話總是可以得到各種啓發 你們知道嗎 每一個眼神每一個笑容都是我每一天的推動力，我想了很久 我不能在接受別人的原因是因爲 （其實是沒人追   欸！）原來我連自己的幸福都成全不了自己，一直以來關在一個狹窄的空間。我到底多久沒有走出來關心別人了？
當你很在乎各種人類的時候 當你把每一件事情都過分期待的時候，即使是小失望 老實説我真的承受不了。我很脆弱 我會害怕，所以打從什麽時候開始我就告訴我自己 衹要不關係自己的事都不是我的事，那是別人的事。既然是別人的事那我就不用管。
直到最近才發現 乾啦 我真的超沒義氣的! 哈! 哈! 哈!






真的很抱歉因爲除了道歉我不能在那麽短時間改變 也請你們多包容這樣害怕受傷又自私的我。
當情緒跌入谷底的時候真的除了自己繼續微笑振作好像就沒有什麽辦法可以掩飾
那麽完美又自信的我 也曾經在好一段時間真的是這樣熬過來 雖然還沒有熬過去 但是也算熬到一半拉 科科。






有時候生活上的小驚喜總是可以溫暖心臟 （嚇？） 好啦 是我們的心。
氣餒自卑被別人瞧不起的時候 記得神經病吳君如説過一句話：你是最好的，你知道嗎？







我也是這樣跟自己說 可是看來就是沒有什麽效果。科科
今天是年中考試的第一天 寫了整天的作文 剩下最後一段結尾的時候真的腦再也榨不出任何字 剩下十五分鐘的時候 竟然變成努力在思考晚上部落該更新些什麽 = =
神啊！請打救小妹！
好啦給你們應付考試的小貼士：努力讀書再加點小抄就行啦！
你是最棒的你知道嗎？

希望我的胡言亂語可以給你加點氣！

PS : // 各位人類 倘若我的小小情緒可以帶那麽一點歡樂，或者我們可以分享著同樣的情緒、心情  我很樂意的繼續爲你們寫 更多的是可以得到你們的認同和欣賞。懂得欣賞別人是一種福氣 因爲你們世界很美。

讀者一號鐘嘉晉謝謝你的支持 大家晚安！

18 / 4 / 2015

Actually, I'm going to share my opinion about music since I started to develop myself into music world when I was 3.
But, something has distracted me and I have no mood to write it anymore.
As we grew older, things are getting more harsh.
I don't chat with people most of the time. So, I don't really own..... maybe a listener? ( Guys, don't be sensitive. I don't want to trouble you'all. So, I force myself not to talk to you. Try to understand please. )
I don't trust people. Yea, of course I can talk to anyone but if you ask me to talk about my secrets with not-so-familiar friend. I'm sorry, I can't. I bet you all have the same feeling right?
It's like you can't let people come in your heart easily otherwise you'll get hurt if that person left you, am I right? ( YES OF COURSE! )
Now is 5:32pm. For the guys I've secretly liking you for a while, HAHAHAH I will be praying for you everyday. I wish you all die in different ways like fell on the middle of the busy road, get choked by the vege or fish ball, accidentally dropped your babe handphone into your toilet bowl, getting pissed off by the girl you love the most, accidentally watched your beloved kissing with another boy, etc.
Thanks God, I feel better now. It's fine for me for being single. I feel too good for being alone. As for you all, GOOD LUCK!
Imma going to enjoy my tea time. Have a nice day though!

4 / 4 / 2015

Hey how're you guys? It's been awhile since the last post.
I swore to the River Styx that I can't let myself act like a coward and loser anymore.
So, I don't allow myself to post anything until the day I can learn to control my emotions.
So, guys were you doing good recently?
First of all, I have a super good news for you. Yea, I passed my most-horrible-terrible test. zz
I kept having nightmares these days, because of my stupid driving license. Gosh, there are so many challenges waiting for me. = =
Everything seems turning to normal, except for a little bit sadness when I go to tuition. But it's okay. I'm fine.
He doesn't deserve a girl who loves him so much. As he wish, I am not going to disturb him anymore.
I never change. I'm still that one who love to annoy people. hahaha. Thanks for the lessons and challenges in ma life, it makes me stronger.
Goodnight.

17 / 03 / 2015

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

在開始之前 我想好好的笑一下 緩和一下氣氛哈哈。
好啦 我終於又在鼓起勇氣又在把心裡話說出來，結局還是沒有改變，我想 真的是時候死心了。
你喜歡的人不喜歡你，其實天真的不會塌下來。
今年生日真的好難忘， 讓我看清了 不在乎你的人 始終不在乎你。因為你在他們心里根本就是像顆小細胞多麼的渺小，多麼微不足道。
狠下心來刪除我們曾經的對話，曾經我拼命的守護著的短短幾封的信息。可是現在想想，很多事情 似乎都不再那麼重要了。
我今天沒有特別的感傷，可能已慣了，也可能今天感受到了你們好多人的愛 所以心裡還是暖暖的。
我從來沒有想過生日會收到那麼多的祝福 因為我這個人就是口無遮攔說話就是不好聽還有很多缺點 可是原來你們都在用不同的方式關心著我。（好啦如果不是的話就當我隨便吹一下咯）
你們送的禮物祝福我真的快要飆淚！是不是最後一年了所以每個人的禮物都要加重了哈哈
好多禮物還是捨不得拆開 現在幸福的感覺真的不能形容！就希望所有我愛的人都健康平安一切順利。
我不會再問：為什麼你不喜歡我？
好像一切都不再重要了吧。
我只好祝福你，雖然好像嘗試被你疼愛的感覺但是就是好可惜。但我相信你未來你的女朋友一定會很幸福。
我相信因果，更相信緣分。倘若我們真的那麼有緣，下一次，換你那麼拼命的守護我。
喜歡你  好累。

祝：生日快樂

11 / 3 / 2015

考試讀書煎熬了那麽多天，今天終于過了最難熬的一天。

所以我非常允許自己小小的放縱 （ 你明明就每天都在放縱 ）= =

老實説 我一直都沒有後悔過自己選擇了理科，嗯 是很好的現象。

雖然成績普普通通 我也超級討厭數學和科學，甚至到現在也不明白當初選理科的目的在哪裏，但我還是很開心自己這樣神經病的決定。

不要擔心我，替我感到開心就好啦！（ 哪來的自信 = = ）

今天更新其實沒有什麽意義。

衹是想說 我累了。

I'M TIRED OF BEING TIRED.

20 FACTS ABOUT ME

原本想好要寫的東西 寂靜無人除了我 家裏的厨房傳來一聲東西跌的聲音  一被嚇腦細胞就死了，全忘了。

每天狂 PO 一些不怎麽開心的文章 其實我并不想這樣 這樣看起來真的很窩囊。悲觀骨子里的我 是帶有小小的幽默感的啦哈哈哈哈。

既然今天考完了英文 我覺得我有權利獎賞自己一下 過得輕鬆一點 （你每天都過得很輕鬆！）

所以，我決定繼續寫一些很白癡的文。如果你們不想變得跟我一樣

那就請跟我一起唸：我不是白癡才怪，我不是白癡才怪，我不是白癡才怪。

好了，廢話已經說很多了。

1. 我是一個超級矛盾又害怕做決定的人。其實也不知道爲什麽，也許小的時候常常做錯決定被嫌棄長大吧。例如選一樣東西的顔色也會斟酌好久 問了身邊所有人結果還是堅持自己的意見，常常被人家說：干你娘 那你又問我！
2. 在自己熟悉并且有自信的領域里 我喜歡大家都聽從我的。我沒説我是暴君 但至少我喜歡給予我意見的人是有建設性的并且是我尊敬的人。
3. 正在一個人默默度過煎熬期。每天喜歡抓一大堆人來聽自己重複了幾百萬遍的故事，心情。雖然有自己的各種哲學 （相信如果我去都哲學的話一定成就一番大事業），可是就算有千萬個説法也還是説服不了自己。所以我的哲學都是狗屁！
4. 第六感強。幾乎每一樣害怕不想發生的事情都會一一發生在我身上。對自己這種能力和天分真的佩服不已。
5. 九把刀是我學習的對象。不論九把刀跟多少個女生上床，樣子多醜陋我真的一點都不介意。因爲我喜歡亂七八糟的説話，那樣子看起來就很帥。
6. 一直有個偉大的夢想。希望哪一天可以真正把自己小小力量貢獻給這個地球。
7. 堅決不開冷氣。雖然看起來很有病，但是無論天氣多熱我都堅決不開冷氣。唯有睡到熱死去，我才不會對這個地球有罪惡感。
8. 感覺自己又乾净又骯髒。有些怪癖，例如挖鼻子隨便彈、喜歡放響屁、喜歡自己流汗的味道 覺得是自己最有魅力的時刻。可是又愛沖涼，怎麽辦！
9. 很感恩生活給予自己的任何一切。
10. 爲自己每時每刻那麽不顧形象很懊惱，可是又想做真正的女人！
11. 可以對著鏡子看自己超過 15 分鐘 （ 應該不誇張吧 ）
12. 很懊惱真人那麽美 照片那麽丑。
13. 偶爾會想起一些不愉快的事，然後讓自己又在沉浸于感傷的情懷。
14. 最好的朋友有很多 你們都知道。但是家人一樣的朋友衹有一個：方可欣
15. 脾氣很暴躁。雖然我都一直在學習控制，但是衹要有人挑起火頭就會立刻爆發！
16. 開心的時候會大笑，難過的時候會大笑得流淚。沒有人有義務承擔自己生活的痛苦，必須自己堅强下去！可以因爲兩三天在家沒事情笑而上學的時候笑得喉嚨沙啞。總之就是每一天一定要有瘋狂大笑的次數，否則生理心理都不舒服。
17. 覺得自己耍白癡很可愛。最喜歡方可欣跟我一起嗨！那樣感覺真的超爽，爽翻。
18. 媽媽在我人生很重要。
19. 我愛 JOHN。
20. 希望天下情侶都去死！！！

倘若你覺得我寫的不好笑的話，那麽恭喜你。

倘若你看我的文看的很開心的話，那麽恭喜你。

倘若你瘋狂大笑的話，歡迎加入我的團隊！

1 / 3 / 2015

哈哈好吧 今天就一次过更新两篇不一样的文。LOL

其实我真的不知道这么幸福的我们还在希望人生可以多给予我们什么

人总是那么贪心 在每一次得到之后 你就会更想要进一步发展

之前说了忽然开窍了，可是到最近发生一些内心挣扎的事 让我又好像吸了毒一样想逃避所以继续假装好像很喜欢你。

我喜欢你   一部分原因是为了放下。

不过没关系 遇见你让我拥有了从来都没有过的动力甚至那种等着要去见你的那种兴奋与期待

天 = = 读书这样那该多好哈哈

可是我还是很喜欢你啦哈哈哈

每天国家那么太平 天气那么好 所有人都还健在 并没有发生灾难 还有能力活动。

生活那么完美 可是人就会拥有很多要愁的事情

你们搞得我好痛苦 这段日子也不知道自己怎么熬过去的

除了每天像泼妇一样跟身边的朋友发牢骚 我真的想不到我该怎么去填补心灵上的空洞

你们很善良 总是会耐心聆听我的心里话，我很感激  真的。

虽然我不知道雨过天晴需要多久的时间，但是我想 或许哪一天 我也可以很快乐的每天给你们散发满满正能量。

这阵子，我真的办不到。对不起。

我也明白 其实我们都值得幸福 这个道理 可是我就是把生活上不愉快的事情放大了。

我一直在学习着，好吧！哪一天我会很大声的告诉你们所有人：他妈的我都把那两个狗屁人物给放下咯！！

但在这之前，我允许我自己这样继续颓废下去 因为 我们都值得幸福。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

祝：天下的情侣都去死

1 / 3 / 2015

Oh Dear, it's 1st of March now. We're going to face our exam. 

GROSS.

Starting to plan and looking forward and decide what's the next step.

When we were small, parents or teachers or anybody used to ask us whether what we are going to be in the future?

Seemed like a interesting question and we just simply answered it.

It's the time to separate and go for further studies.

School is the place that gather students. When students turned to friends, they appreciate each others, love each others, been through for so many years, AND the last things is, separate them forever.

I do really scare what I'll turn to when I am bigger. 

Am I happy? Will I feel homesick? ( LOL. definitely. )

BUT, I can't wait to graduate and start my college life. It seems like I can learn many things and do what I want to do.

IF I can stay with EVA HING, GOSH, that will be the most wonderful thing in this world.

 Maybe we can study together, live together, and learn so many stuffs that we wish to.

WOW, don't you have the feeling of anticipation to have a wonderful college life with me, SUCH a perfect girl in da world?

Hey, you should feel proud because you're the only one I want to spend my time with. 

Plus, if there are any arguments in future, I'm sure that we both can solve it.

OKAY, if we can't really solve it, let's try to kill each other. OR JOHN ( hahahahha )

The last thing I wanna say is

A GUY WHO WEARS PINK COLOR SHIRT IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PERSON IN THIS WORLD. AND I'M SURE THERE IS ONLY ONE IN THIS WORLD. TRUST ME.

AND YOU! DO REALLY OBSESS ME, JOHN.

It is a good Sunday   GOOD EVENING and GOODBYE.

22 / 2 / 2015

I don't update recently, uhm, always grumble about your unhappy stuffs is not a good option to choose PLUS why do you keep revealing your stupid wound to the others?

Well, you're lucky today because I'm in a feel-good-but-inside-is-terrible-hurt mood and Imma going to share some tips with you all about ' How To Get Through the Moment Whenever You're Being Hurt by Someone '.

Uhm, for me, I used to read books. Believe me, book is the most powerful stuff in the world. It can heal you anything, anytime, anywhere. Choose the language that you prefer and start reading. The only book I read is Percy Jackson and why do I love it so much, because I can feel the way how he loves Annabeth and it really melts my heart! LOL

The way he protects her, he needs her, he spoils her, he loves her, he fights so many challenges to be with her, the way he relies her, and so many love stories between them and it really makes me feel good. 

Yea, maybe I don't have a boyfie now but I still can share the happiness, right?

Second, find a listener. Find the one that you trust the most and talk to him/her.

Do make sure he/she won't spread your silly secrets out! When you talk to'em, their ideas may be inspire you. Try not to close yourself in a tiny room, it's damn suffering and it helps nothing.

In addition, spend your time with something that helps you, but not makes you getting more depressed or frus. 

You may sleep like a pig, cry or shout like hell but please don't like me, why?

I used to keep all the negative feelings and it will make you full of negative energy.

You will get angry easily. Yes, I am.

The thing that I fear the most happened. And I'm still alive, right?

Babe, believe me, nothing is impossible. ( except to make John loves me LOL )

If you keep believing, your dream will realize soon. ( except to make John loves me LOL ) x2

Last thing I wanna say about is, Bae, you're so hot and Imma going to eat you up!

#GOODNIGHT

17 / 2 / 2015

I don't wish to draw any attention from all of you, it's what I want to say and it's my feeling though.

What do you prefer to do whenever missing someone?

It is not the same feeling when you like someone, maybe it's just jealousy.

When everyone owns that thing, and you too will have the urge to get that thing because you thought if everyone has it, why I don't have?

You started feel jealous, and you forget that jealous makes someone ugly.

Please.

Stop doing stupid things like this.

When can I get through this suffering period? 

When can I fully recover from those painful memories?

I don't mean to ask any permission or to let you feel sympathy about me, as I said, it's just my feeling.

Someone takes maybe one month, one year, or even two years above to let go of it and GOD OF OLYMPUS, how long do I need to?

Everyone that appears in our lives is meant to teach us something. 

You can't stick with them forever and everyone has their own lives to go. What we have to do is give'em our most sincere blessing. Yea, definitely.

Sometimes I just need a hug. And a pair of ears to listen what I've been through for these years.

It's not so tough, but it is not so easy too.

#GOODNIGHT

11 / 2 / 2015

Chinese New Year is coming and the sad thing is, you're still fat.

I admit that I don't get any skinnier but getting fatter.

Is anyone has tips for getting slimmer? When you have a love handle and you still lazy to do some workout, yea, that's me.

Percy Jackson series is coming to the end and I'm reading the last book: The Blood Of Olympus.

When the books accompany you to get through so many things and it comes to the end. 

I'm sad enough.

Don't get annoy whenever I discuss about Percy, I'm just crazy in love with it.

I don't like crazy and thrilling activities and only you can waste your time by reading your fav books.

Laying on the sofa with the book and a cup of hot tea is the best thing ever to spend your weekend.

I always persuade you guys to read Percy series, well maybe you don't like but it's fucking interesting.

Read other books you may get bored with the story line, example: love story, sad story.

But I'm sure you'll never getting bored with Percy because it fulled of touched, happy, sad, sacrifice and lots of emotion whenever you read it.

Lots of readers cried when they read the last book and I don't have any ideas yet why they're crying. 

But it's okay, I'm going to find out what's going on.

As I said, I'm going to finish it within months and honestly I haven't enough mental-prepare for this new book.

Uncle Rick you're awesome! Too fantastic! You wrote for maybe ten years above and you really did it to win our hearts. We do love you. And Percy is always in our mind.

( Hey, it's just a fictional novel! Please don't be so emotional girl. )

It's suffer when you wanted to update your blog but you don't have any ideas to write.

Even you squeezed your brain so hard, you still get NOTHING.

Well, I'm going to get my license if I pass my motor exam.

And I'm fucking nervous and not excited at all.

Dear guys, if I fail tomorrow, kindly don't laugh at me and don't say anything to comfort my feelings. I don't need it and please just act like normal because I will feel very grateful.

Anyway, do wish me luck. Thank you 

Lastly, Valentine's Day is coming and what I want to say to all couples in this world is,

FUCK YOU

2 / 2 / 2015

Well, I started looking back those pictures that we took together and those memories that we had been through. It's precious.

After losing my IPHONE, seriously I think that I've mature a lot.

Why? geez. How's your feeling when all of your things had gone like BOOM! and all of my memories, photos, games just disappeared like that AND that FUCKING technician stole my Iphone parts and change it?

Until now, I'm still missing my phone and I always curse myself, why did you so stupid taking off your phone cover and didn't keep it properly? 

Whenever I miss it, I scold myself. Then, I started to hate myself so much.

Ya, this is just an opening. First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who are always reading my blog. And as I know, even some of my friends they use Google translate, Nothing to awkward about, we are learning English. But kindly advise you that don't ever believe 100% on what Google tells you. Sometimes it translates nonsense. LOL

And even some of you read my stuff for many times and I really appreciate it. THANK YOU.

You guys make me feel so touched and don't worry, I'll keep writing lot of stuffs.

Thanks for sharing my ups and downs. Ya, I use to write all me feelings in here.

And last, I LOVE YOU GUYS.

We haven't started our points today.

Being teenagers are FUN. And if you have a group of bitches crazy around you, Oh gosh, believe me that will be MORE AND MORE FUN!

I have a super-top-rank best friend, EVA HING.

But I have a lot of best friends. Although I love EVA HING the most, I love them too. I can't lose them, they are TOO IMPORTANT TO FORGET, my classmates 5 AMANAH.

People said, you can't really find a true friend especially you are staying in elite class. They are too selfish to share with you, even their heart. ( HOLY ZEUS, I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M AN ELITE )

As I said, I'm the most lucky person in the world. I get all the things I want.

I can achieve my dream. I had the chance to join orchestra and even I had performed some concerts. Do you know, it's my dream when I was small. 

My dear friends and classmates

It's my pleasure to know all of you and I feel like I'm blessed to stick around you all.

We hang out together, laugh together, working hard to cheat during exams hahahha and lots of memories.

We use to discuss people together, scolding people together. did a lot of shameful things together and of course we always have lots arguments which make me feel very super extremely ' pek cek '.

But ma lovely friends, how do you describe FRIENDSHIP?

We are not perfect, but it's a gift for us to try to appreciate people around us.

We can never predict what will happen next, but we can try to respect others, right?

I really miss my FORM 4 life, it's sweet and memorable.

I would never forget when I was busy preparing my Malam Budaya.

It's quite tired but it's full of happiness and tears.

When you try to put a lot of efforts onto something and all of us had done it perfectly. Owh, that feeling was super satisfied.

Whenever I think about it, I'd smile. You guys are awesome.

What I want, you guys would never disappointed me.

When I was thinking a lot about Malam stuffs, I used to have insomnia. maybe that time I looked pale and thin hahah, but you guys did really help a lot!

If there are some cracks between us, do make sure you have to tell me so that I won't do it again.

Maybe I can't promise, but I can try my effort.

I do appreciate and love you guys.

We had lots of promises too, like sitting around and chit-chat when we old, Jocelyn is gonna buy a coffee house and makes a small table for us, whenever we feel tired after working we can go to your coffee house and rest, we promised to travel to the places that we wish to go, but for me it's not a big deal as long as I can be with you all.

I am lucky. How can I have so many best friends that will help me no matter how hard it is to complete?

I am lazy, I don't like to repeat the same thing for many times ( really = =? ) but please allow me to express my love for you all.

These years we had been through and I can't really write it out but some memories it is better for us to keep it in our heart, sincerely.

THANK YOU.

LOVED, VELENNA TEOH

釋放

煎熬了幾個月 心靈終于得到了釋放。

一直都捨不得放下 因爲我認爲堅持了那麽久的事情倘若就這樣放棄我真的會恨自己 我也天真的以爲衹要我一直堅持努力下去你會被我的行爲和決心感動到。

可是我不懂你。也不曉得這幾個月你是否有被感動又或者一點狗屁感覺都沒有

不過這也沒關係 因爲心碎許久的心終于都快要恢復 可以開始 MOVE ON

最終還是要感謝你 因爲一直以來我都不曾後悔遇見這麽完美的一個你，每一次想起你心裏都是甜滋滋 那些狼狽不堪的回憶我真的再也沒有勇氣撥開再來回首一次 因爲太苦太苦所以我覺得過去的就讓它隨風。

謝謝你讓我一直以來解不開的疑問都得到了最想要的答案，問問自己：真的是自己最想要的嗎？也許不是，但我很滿意。

昨天補習看見你雖然還是無比緊張和激動 但是再也沒有任何難過的成分。

也漸漸明白 喜歡一個人不應該是苦澀的，愛是應該快樂的。

倘若你也正在愛一個人愛得很苦 那你就學習把包袱放下吧 畢竟我們不是聖人我們沒有必要把愛一個人的所有責任往自己身上扛。

不愛自己的 就讓他走吧 留不住的人就算你死 對他來説你也就狗屁都不是。

你可以允許自己再任性最後一次 但是之後你必須讓自己也活得快樂一點。

把愛放到最原始的地方 因爲這是值得被祝福的。

喜歡一個不喜歡自己的人就好像死抓住一些接下來的幾輩子也不會屬於自己的東西，沒結果更沒意義。

我們 17 歲的時間還是算是足夠的 所以我都不急著去放下你，趁著自己還會在乎你的時候多看你幾眼因爲我怕衹要我一轉身 當初對你撕心裂肺的所有感覺都會化爲烏有。

答應過自己不再讓自己受傷害可是卻一直不聽話 一頭栽進去。

就像黃婉鈴小姐説過 ’ 俄扑火就是这样解的吧明知道对方连看也不看你一眼我们依然奋不顾身那样的挖个洞让自己陷进去很努力的挖每时每刻挖到偏体磷伤 然后越陷越深 当那天我们才发觉疼的时候看来那个洞已经像口井那么深 而洞里依然也只有自己一个 我们的他 或许连走过去洞口看一看也懒更别说就我们出来 然后你就自己在挖了那么深的洞之后 再很努力的想救自己起来 可是又心有不甘 一时救自己一时越陷越深 就那样每天徘徊在那样的情绪 大起大落 ‘。

對不起 又在不聽話偷偷喜歡上別人了。

對不起 又在不受控制 瘋狂的愛上別人了。

對不起 又在爲別人擔心了。

我知道你們都一直關注我的部落，一直看我靠背訴苦了幾個月。

很感激你們讓我知道其實還是有你們在閲讀我的部落 沒有什麽可以回報你們，所以我決定以後都要多靠背報答你們哈哈哈哈。

20 / 1 / 2015

Maybe it's time to face the problem and make a clever decision.

Too many things to ask you and tell you make me couldn't let go of it.

These months, I'm suffering. Too hard to face the problem.

If you know me well, I'm that kind don't like to face problems, I rather choose not to think about it so that I won't get hurt.

Well, I didn't sure where was my courage came from when I decided to text you.

Maybe the urge for sending you the text was too strong. LOL

I have hesitated for the whole afternoon and I was thinking like, OH GOSH WTF! I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT DOES HE REPLY ME. JUST SEND IT!!

And finally, I got what I want. GEEZ

What you did was really surprise me and here's something I realized and I want to say to you.

Of course you wouldn't know.

DEAR JOHN

Like what I've said, you're an awesome guy. It's perfect enough. Although we can't getting together but I'm pleased to know and fall in love with you.

You said you're not that type I want, ya, perhaps. And I know maybe this is the skill to refuse the love from a girl haha.

You don't know what I really want, but it doesn't matter anymore. 

 Maybe from the start, we are destined never be together.

I do really happy with my single life right now plus we are just students. 

Students are not encouraged to have a relationship.

You know why?

HOLY ZEUS, please refer my previous post. It's SUCK and I have promised to myself, I won't start a new relationship unless he has a totally different characteristics from my those lovely EX -boyfriends.

NOPE. NO AGAIN. I am tired. LOL

NOT going to mess my life anymore. I wish to have a peaceful life. ( wink ) maybe a little bit of romantic. XD

Hey guys, here are some advises to all of you especially for those who are suffering from loving someone that are not love you.

It's okay. Nothing to be shameful about. Love makes our lives more beautiful.

If you are loving someone now, C'mon, let's thank to our HOLY APHRODITE.

Thanks for making a lot of chances for letting us to meet the one we loved. Although that's gross, but I really want to thank you, sincerely.

Be grateful of what life gives you. Maybe you get nothing, but you'll definitely learn something from the past. 

One day if you look back those memories, you'll feel thankful because for those stupid, sad, miserable, happy and angry stuffs, you became a strong and more nicer guy.

Maybe they leave for no reason, maybe they betray us for reason, but finally you'll meet your true love, the one would not give up on us and keep supporting us until the end of our lives.

We all will meet someone one day, but before that, be well-prepared and be nice to everybody until we met our truly loved.

It's a new year, and it's the last year we stick around with each other. 

Laugh as loud as you can, crazy as fuck as you can and we're getting older. 

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

THANKS FOR BEING THERE ME WHEN I WAS MISERABLE AND EMOTIONAL.

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

LOVED, VELENNA TEOH

TO JXXX

It's all about John and I'm still not get bored with this topic. Ya, as you can see, recently my posts are all about John. I know just a few people see ma blog and you guys won't spread my secrets out, right? ( wink )

Let's try to calm down our minds and be silent for one minute, think about the one you loved. Who's the first that pop out from your mind?

Ya, the first one must be family right, then the following one maybe is your friends or the one you miss the most.

I used to miss you all the time. Even when I'm busy, I'm paying a lot of attention when doing something but you just simply make me think about you as hell.

I do concern about you.

Have you eaten? How's your school life? Feel happy with your Chinese orchestra? Do you even miss the moment when we tuition along? 

Ya, what I've said to you was, ' maybe I shouldn't push you so hard, maybe you feel like nervous or what, but we still can be friend and trying to know each other right? '

As a friend I can text you right? 

Don't you feel a little bit of touched? Kinda of sweet feeling rose from your heart?

NO. YOU DON'T.

I started to learn English because I want to be more perfect when I'm with you, forget about the distance between us, ignore all the problems among us. That message, I can complete it right now, but you never reply me again. Never ever. Maybe you don't belong to my world but I still can't accept the truth that you refused to reply me and you just leave me bearing all the pain alone without leaving a single message.

I yearn to got you and stay beside me, not leaving me again.

Hahahhhahahahahah it's just a sweet sweet dream, even I don't feel like wanna to wake up.

The truth is too painful too hard for me to realize, understand and accept it.

Funny huh, how could you be so emotional for a guy that you never know about him?

THIS IS FATE. WE CAN'T CHANGE THE FATE NO MATTER HOW STRONG THE FEELING IT IS. EVEN THE GOD.

But I do really ( love )? you, JXXX.

You're so gentleman enough and make me wanna punch myself so hard. 

I hate myself so much , how could I hurt myself ? Didn't I had promised to myself that never being hurt from anyone again?

Everything happens for a good reason. I believe that but the process to let go someone is too suffering. OH GOSH.

Well, this is my feeling for today and for the past. After complaining, I'll love him as fuck as always.

Dear Goddess of Love and Beauty, APRHODITE, do bless me and I really need your blessing.

GOOD NIGHT.

LOVE, VELENNA TEOH

DEAR FRIEND

Oh dear, honestly I never expect that I'll spend my lovely Saturday with this bitch, EVA HING.

I thought I'll lay on my bed, reading ma book and keep wasting time, though sticking around with you was the same. Ya I mean wasting time.

Talking nonsense and chit-chat with you is the most sweetest thing in my life.

The more we stick together, the more I scare I won't be able to get used when you're not around me.

I've been thought a lot, can we still stick together when we graduated?

Where do you choose to continue your studies?

How will be my life if I can't meet or talk to you always?

How about if I want to shit but I can't then I want to phone you? Am I disturbing you?

12-year friendship, how difficult it is if we really separated?

Well, I'm not a lesbian but I really need you too. 

Too much of promises between us and we have to work harder to achieve our life goals.

We have to accompany each other to our idol's concert, going to Korea and wearing the same outfit and maybe having some plastic surgery hahahha, you said you wish to go South Africa and I want to go to all the historical countries I want to go all the places that Rick Riordan had mentioned before, and if I become a conductor and you have to attend my first orchestra concert. And the most important is, we have to protect our friendship as hell, nothing can separate us.

EVA HING, the most important friend. Every time I talk to you, I don't feel like I'm bearing all the things alone, I feel something have released kinda warmth in my deep deep heart.

And every time I can know more about you, I feel like oh gosh I'm the most lucky person in the world because I can know and started to understand all the decisions and things that you do.

For once, I love to control people around us, if they don't obey what I WANT them to do, I feel uneasy and ' beh siok '. 

Being friend with you I really learned a lot of stuff, no forcing or pushing people to do what they don't want.

And if you want to do so, be ready that they will leave you forever.

Thank you, short and stupid girl. Sincerely.

LOVE, VELENNA TEOH

10 / 1 / 2015

Hey guys, it's a boring post again. 

My eyes are swollen, crying too much after watching that super-nice movie, ' GRAVE OF FIREFLIES '

Yup, I would like to have the golden opportunity to recommend this movie to all of you, I bet you'll cry. Because my mom and I had cried. LOL ( ya, maybe it doesn't mean that everyone will, but it is really super touched. You have to watch it )

I have nothing to say since I always repeated the same thing. But I'm seriously BORING.

I can't watch horror movie alone or else I'll get crazy and always have the weird dreams. ( Maybe I'm a DEMIGOD?!!! )

As you know, demigods always have weird dreams. LOL ya, you don't know.

And with the dreams you can find a lot of clues to defeat monsters, giants and GAIA!

Talking nonsense again,  zz ( PLEASE IGNORE IF YOU WANT. GEEZ ) 

( Percy and Annabeth had fallen into TARTARUS and now they are with BOB THE TITAN walking around to find THE LADY, which can use the mist to cover their sense from the monsters and find THE DOOR OF DEATH. The Door of Death had guarded by the sides of GAIA and if they wanted to avoid the monsters and the giants rising from the Tartarus they had to make sure that two sides had to be closed. In mortal world was at EPIRUS, THE HOUSE OF HADES while the other one was at Tartarus, that's why Percy and Annabeth had to find the door of death, that makes sense right? If you're curious about why did Percy and Annabeth had fallen to Tartarus, OH, you have to read in from THE MARK OF ATHENA. Annabeth had to complete her quest ALONE without Percy to find a human-like spider, named ARACHNE ( A weaver who claimed to have skills superior to Athena's. This angered the goddess, who destroyed Arachne's tapestry and loom. Arachne hung herself, and Athena brought back her life as a spider ). To complete her quest, she tricked Arachne and finally that monster spider trapped herself in her own cobweb. PS : Athena's children don't like spider, they scare to death about spider since Athena cursed Arachne into spider, spiders love to scare the goddess' children. And about the ARGO II, they had defeated the son of POSEIDON,named SCIRON which has a pair of nasty, disgusting feet and Hazel successfully used her magic- the mist to trick SCIRON and his giant turtle which slammed the ARGO II's oars into pieces and LEO really need some time to repair it. And now, they're heading to EPIRUS to find THE DOOR OF DEATH and to close them with the strength by two sides.  .......... )

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA ANNOY YA?

Well, I found that I really have the talent to write summary though, LOL. 

Hey, I don't refer to the books, I can memorize it! Every demigods can! LOL

And even today I dreamed about the TARTARUS. 

Okay, stop talking about books. But I love BOOKS! SMASH THAT GUY! KILL'EM! ( possessed by COACH HEDGE )

If our exam is test all about GREEK GODS, well, I think at least I can pass.

Unfortunately, this will never happen in our lives. 

Well, this post will gonna be my FAVE post. I used to talk about PERCY JACKSON but among you all, there's no one loves PERCY JACKSON, we can't have the same topic to discuss about. SAD CASE. 

It's nice weather today, try to have some outdoor games with your loved.

We don't have much time to play, one more day left and we're gonna go to school. 

Relax, and please be crazy while you still able to play it.

And don't forget, do feel grateful and appreciate your life and people around us, they don't deserve to treat us like a king.

HAVE A NICE DAY, MY LOVED.

LOVE, VELENNA TEOH