30 / 10 / 2015

Well, 2 more days. If what is destined will eventually come to us.
Feel like wanna scream or cry or bang the wall so badly huh. You think like I'm too free is it?
My answer is, YES!

I'm too busy with doing nothing! There are still tonnes of chapters and lot of formulae to memorize. zz
And, I'm still doing nothing. Owh C'mon. CHILL LAH
It is raining heavily here. And I don't know what should I say. Anyway, GOOD LUCK huh. LOL
cucumber

18 / 10 / 2015

Congrates huh! We only left 2 weeks for the FINAL HORRIBLE TERRIBLE SPM
My mind still blur and procrastinating as usual.
I know I have to work hard but since I have so many subjects and topics that I don't know, I have totally no ideas how to start it. You guys know that feeling right? LOL

DEAR JOHN,
       
           My pressure of trying to perform well in my test is getting bigger and bigger. I miss you all the time and how much do I wish you were here to tell me not to worry about anything. Telling me that you're always here for me, and you've prepared to work together with me. How many times I use my super imaginary to calm myself down, telling my heart I should concentrate on the more important things. But you know I can't right. Every time I study in the silence, I think about you like you're staying beside me, giving me a broad smile with cute dimples as you always smile like that. Aww, you're so adorable and I feel like wanna give you a kiss as a reward for accompanying me. This is how my imagination supports me during my ups and downs. I tell the whole world that I like you. But you're the only person which I can't tell. I'm planning to text you after SPM, let you know that you are written in my part of my stories. But, what's the point to let you know? Everything is just the same except of my heart. It will be experiencing the incident again and the bleeding wound is like being dig it again. Someone said love is such a complicated but simple stuffs. For those who are in relationship, unless you've been through this kind of struggling moments, you wouldn't know how hard it is. So, stop calling us like an idiot because it's not easy to meet someone that you love and he/she loves you too. You may be too lucky or this is what you deserve for having your lover. You're lucky and I have a advise for all of you. You better don't like a guy before he likes you. Be more patient and wait for it to happen because men usually don't appreciate on things girls have done for them. I like you and am so willing to wait you.
You might say I must have out of my mind but I tell you what, Love is like a POTATO. LOL

#Seeyouinmadream #GOODNIGHT

3 / 10 / 2015

Just have my lunch just now and going to update my blog.
Feel scare of losing my parents tho. We are getting bigger and papa n mama are getting older and older until the day they can't walk, can't even bathe themselves, lose all the teeth, need our attention, protection and need us to really take care of them.
Since when I started realise time is getting little and little to be with them. Realising the futility of life when you're watching your parents getting older but you can't do anything.
I'm leaving this house very soon. I can't even promise I can come back often.
Too much of love keeps in our heart as we have no ideas to express it.
We often get angry with them, refuse to listen to their advises, act like we are already mature and big enough so that we don't need to hide or stay under their protection anymore.
But guys, no one will love you and protect you until the last day of life,  but parents.
How much do you love your parents? Is it a metre long? Or like the diameter of our mother Earth?
What I keep telling myself, ' you don't have much of time to be with them. You have to appreciate the precious time to be with your papa and mama. You're leaving soon and there's no one in the house to accompany them, chat with them, help them anymore. Your sisters are not in house, when you leave it soon, they only have each other. You said you love your mother right? Then why don't you do some house chores to help and reduce the works of your mother? ' And I swear to the RIVER STYX I am going to take care of my parents no matter what.
I don't want everything. There is no such thing in the world that is more valuable ad precious than your family. A house without parents that's just a house, but not a full of warmth, love home.
Starting from today, ask yourself. How much do I love my mom? Will I buy something for my parents when I am outing? Will I miss about my parents when they are not around me?
Oh, I may be write too much. Perhaps all of you can get some inspiration from me and start to spread your love to the world.

PS : I may be not a very good girl in da house, but I do really love my parents. Be grateful of what you're having now. Love is hard to find but it is in the air.

#Ilovepapamama

2 / 10 / 2015

Dreamed about you the whole night long. I felt tired in that dream because as usual, it never ends with a good ending.
Finally can have a closed look at you, had a chance to talk to you, but in the dream, still, I didn't dare to walk close. I lost the chance.
Still wanting to get near you, wanting to talk to you, wanting to fight for the only opportunity to know you, hoping miracle will be happening, wanting to be your lovely girlfriend, wanting to support you no matter what, wanting you to love me and protect me and wanting to tell the world that you're mine!
Attempt to reach you, but I failed.
Yea, it has been a year since I took the letter to you. Been admiring and liking you for almost one year and I still couldn't move on.
You still look gorgeous, with spec, white skin, cute dimples, bright teeth, height that really super match with me, and .......  you're just nice.
Maybe I watched at you too many times so I got a nightmare like this last night.
But I don't have the feelings like last days anymore. Even in ma dream, I know it was impossible and I knew what to do, keep a distance from you at least I can by your side with my own way.
When the moment I knew we only left 2 more lessons, I feel so relieved. Sounds odd right. But when I think of you, about I am not going to see your face anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA so siok!
Well, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR SPM.