Such a special day. Happens once in 4 years, and the day I bought viola.
After waiting for so long ( 1 month ) and I brought it back. I didn't lie.
Daniel dumped me for party. I am alone in the house. It feels weird because normally he will be waiting for me to come home but I feel good at the same time. So long since I am with me, myself.
I texted mom this afternoon, I do appreciate mom for being supportive all the time when I'm chasing my dreams.
She never stops me from believing what I can and capable of. Drove me to Penang just for violin lesson since I was standard 5 until I completed my form 6, waited me during the lessons and rehearsals in orchestra. Rushed here and there just to make sure I could reach home as early as possible either for sleep (late night) or to school.
Saved up to RM5000 just in case I needed to change a new violin (from size 3/4 to 7/8).
Last few months I told her that I wanted to buy a viola, such a waste if I stop playing. She asked me to give her some time and I expected to wait perhaps 5-6 months more?
But she gave me the money in CNY, asked me to go buy it.
In first year, I needed to buy flute as I was taking secondary instrument. Without hesitate, she gave me RM1500 to buy it.
Will never forget the sacrifice and love of mom, and I will work harder not to disappoint her. Love you mom.
2020年2月29日星期六
2020年2月24日星期一
24/2/2020
Thanks to Corono virus, school reopens in March, my birthday month!
Everything is goood, I have time to rest and feeling energetic for the coming semester.
It is definitely one of the most important sem in these 3 years, the sem that decides whether I'm gonna write thesis or being recitalist.
Of course I want to have my own recital next year and I am excited and nervous at the same time.
I am kind of into chamber music these days. It brings more meanings instead of with a conductor standing in front. Because I want to have my own interpretation and ideas. Without anyone standing in front to lead us, it feels so much better tho.
But, it only applies to when I'm playing.
Everything is goood, I have time to rest and feeling energetic for the coming semester.
It is definitely one of the most important sem in these 3 years, the sem that decides whether I'm gonna write thesis or being recitalist.
Of course I want to have my own recital next year and I am excited and nervous at the same time.
I am kind of into chamber music these days. It brings more meanings instead of with a conductor standing in front. Because I want to have my own interpretation and ideas. Without anyone standing in front to lead us, it feels so much better tho.
But, it only applies to when I'm playing.
2020年2月1日星期六
1/2/2020
Just having drinks with my old friends, with that super damn disgusting yogurt drinks.
But it was a good outing, we talked and laughed a lot.
I had a good movie today, The Devil wears Prada.
Just had a small conversation with Daniel, telling him that I'm kind of stress to coach the string ensemble as they are having 10th anniversary concert in June, which is about 400 audiences.
He told me, never use your emotional to judge things and don't let your fear controls you.
Think of what you can do and just do it.
Just come across with a quote: The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself; I am not what happened to me. I am who I choose to become.
I chose this path, I wanted it to happen. I wanted to improve my playing in violin, I wanted to coach an ensemble, I wanted to get flute exam, I wanted to buy viola and play it in KLPAC. I wanted to learn as much as possible so that I can be better than anyone else, so that I have lesser chance to beg people, so that I am capable to accept any opportunity that anyone else can't.
I want to excel in music industry but I never do my best in everything. I am not honest to myself.
I treat every performance opportunity like a gamble. I treated it like I am lucky not to screw it up.
I am not transparent to myself.
I look down on those people who complain about sleeping during exam week, never study well in exam, but never had i thought, I am one of them.
Sometimes I question myself, is that worth for?
People with not that much education are living better than me, is that worth for me to work like that?
But never had i thought, no one is the same. I am not anyone, I have my dream to catch, I have my path to go.
But it was a good outing, we talked and laughed a lot.
I had a good movie today, The Devil wears Prada.
Just had a small conversation with Daniel, telling him that I'm kind of stress to coach the string ensemble as they are having 10th anniversary concert in June, which is about 400 audiences.
He told me, never use your emotional to judge things and don't let your fear controls you.
Think of what you can do and just do it.
Just come across with a quote: The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself; I am not what happened to me. I am who I choose to become.
I chose this path, I wanted it to happen. I wanted to improve my playing in violin, I wanted to coach an ensemble, I wanted to get flute exam, I wanted to buy viola and play it in KLPAC. I wanted to learn as much as possible so that I can be better than anyone else, so that I have lesser chance to beg people, so that I am capable to accept any opportunity that anyone else can't.
I want to excel in music industry but I never do my best in everything. I am not honest to myself.
I treat every performance opportunity like a gamble. I treated it like I am lucky not to screw it up.
I am not transparent to myself.
I look down on those people who complain about sleeping during exam week, never study well in exam, but never had i thought, I am one of them.
Sometimes I question myself, is that worth for?
People with not that much education are living better than me, is that worth for me to work like that?
But never had i thought, no one is the same. I am not anyone, I have my dream to catch, I have my path to go.