Class got cancelled due to haze. It's getting more serious and is affecting all of us. I'm kinda lucky as I'm taking supplement, unless a bit headache when I'm outdoor.
These few weeks are kind of down, right side of my hips is not doing good, it is painful sometimes, making my uneasy.
But the main problem is, I have difficulty in practising violin, my posture isn't correct, my neck and shoulder get tense and really really fed up when practising. It never feels alright whenever I play it. And the song that I'm not really working on it is very hard. My muscles will be electrocuted if i do not stop after playing like 15 mins, and it really affects me so much.
Everything feels so wrong and i don't know how to solve it, asking my lecturer and she said i have to practise how to relax, but what can i do? How long do i need to take? I ain't got much time though.
These while i feel so emotional when I am approached with songs related to war. To my comrades that song that we are working on it for the peace month project in my band, is the best song I've ever heard and it is just PERFECT. I can't describe how good it is, and how emotional it meant to me. Not sure is because of the members or the conductor or the song. But I do really enjoy it.
Recently I'm working with a music centre, they request me to teach 12 hours per week and the salary is quite low. I'm having real dilemma, feel that I'm unworthy enough to get 'appropriate pay' but I can't keep telling everyone how unsatisfied I am because I am the one who agree with all of these.
But changing my mind, telling myself that I am accumulating my own experience and reputation.
What I can do is just, doing my part with what I can do.
It's year 2 sem 1 week 2 and I did well. Survived.
Not sure if I've mentioned that in October I'm going to have conducting class with Mr Lee, but I'd just like to mention again.
How grateful I am that I am able to learn conducting with him, that I am finally step one stop out of my comfort zone, learning new thing, and one step nearer to my dream.
Although I keep complaining the job, I am soooo thankful it comes with the good timing.
Mama doesn't have to work so hard for giving me money. I have my own a little bit.
Almost giving up with my violin, this thought keeps popping out in my mind, but I believe in myself.
With the ups and downs I've encountered previously, this time should not be a big problem to me too!
Good Day, xoxo
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