16/10/2019

It has been hectic months for me since semester 3 started. A lot of performances and workshops, classes, songs that are going on which I enjoy a lot.

But thankfully I have the chance to sit down and write my blog, able to do some prep first before going to english lesson later. 

Been stressed up on my work, not about the workload, but the salary. Was desperate in looking for the pay that I'm satisfied with. I definitely need the money to cover up my private lesson that I'm passionate about.

At the same time I am so angry with myself for agreeing the pay at the very first, all is because myself. But I need to release my anger and stress somewhere, which I cant really tell a lot to Daniel as he will think I'm not mature enough and he has been repeating the same thing to me all the time. But what i want is not the lecture, I know what i should keep in mind and i just need someone to soothe my emotion at the moment, but i dont dare to request. Because i am not mature enough. 

Being angry with myself all the time because i keep making wrong decisions. But i read a quote, it said: Do something that makes you proud of your own decision, even it was wrong in the beginning. 

Trying to cope with my own emotions first, which is the first thing that I have to do it. 

PS: In case you dont know, chicken, i keep all your words in my mind, and i am working on it, maybe it is slow, but i am. Dont lose hope on me, I am doing my best to grow up. :(