TO JXXX

It's all about John and I'm still not get bored with this topic. Ya, as you can see, recently my posts are all about John. I know just a few people see ma blog and you guys won't spread my secrets out, right? ( wink )

Let's try to calm down our minds and be silent for one minute, think about the one you loved. Who's the first that pop out from your mind?

Ya, the first one must be family right, then the following one maybe is your friends or the one you miss the most.

I used to miss you all the time. Even when I'm busy, I'm paying a lot of attention when doing something but you just simply make me think about you as hell.

I do concern about you.

Have you eaten? How's your school life? Feel happy with your Chinese orchestra? Do you even miss the moment when we tuition along? 

Ya, what I've said to you was, ' maybe I shouldn't push you so hard, maybe you feel like nervous or what, but we still can be friend and trying to know each other right? '

As a friend I can text you right? 

Don't you feel a little bit of touched? Kinda of sweet feeling rose from your heart?

NO. YOU DON'T.

I started to learn English because I want to be more perfect when I'm with you, forget about the distance between us, ignore all the problems among us. That message, I can complete it right now, but you never reply me again. Never ever. Maybe you don't belong to my world but I still can't accept the truth that you refused to reply me and you just leave me bearing all the pain alone without leaving a single message.

I yearn to got you and stay beside me, not leaving me again.

Hahahhhahahahahah it's just a sweet sweet dream, even I don't feel like wanna to wake up.

The truth is too painful too hard for me to realize, understand and accept it.

Funny huh, how could you be so emotional for a guy that you never know about him?

THIS IS FATE. WE CAN'T CHANGE THE FATE NO MATTER HOW STRONG THE FEELING IT IS. EVEN THE GOD.

But I do really ( love )? you, JXXX.

You're so gentleman enough and make me wanna punch myself so hard. 

I hate myself so much , how could I hurt myself ? Didn't I had promised to myself that never being hurt from anyone again?

Everything happens for a good reason. I believe that but the process to let go someone is too suffering. OH GOSH.

Well, this is my feeling for today and for the past. After complaining, I'll love him as fuck as always.

Dear Goddess of Love and Beauty, APRHODITE, do bless me and I really need your blessing.

GOOD NIGHT.

LOVE, VELENNA TEOH