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2025年3月8日星期六

8 March 2025

 Dear younger Me,

        Hey, how's it going? I know you have been stressed out recently, and out of our surprises, it's legit not because of academic stuff that much. I know the old wound has resurfaced and you are feeling stuck. The old friend, the little me with self-doubt are in your mind most of the time these days. And I can tell you are back into your cocoon phase where the productivity has been comparatively lower than last semester. 

        My dear little me, you have no idea how hard I am trying here: to acknowledge your fear, your insecurities, to let you know that the 27 yo me right now, am feeling super powerful than ever to stay beside you. And as usual, I am always walking side by side with you, listening to your thoughts and want to hug you so badly. I know you are trying your best to recover and undergoing all the self-help ways you can ever do. I trust you with all heart and you have no idea how proud I am to see you and being the witness of your growth.

        I am now playing our old songs, the playlist we used to hide our pain away. In the little room, lights off with the table lamp, the sandalwood scented candle. I remember you would always rest your legs against the wall and just let the pain came to you. Doing nothing. And I always hate to recall the devastated nights.

        I am so proud of you, that we have come so far. I know you constantly question on us, what is wrong with us? Why haven't us found the love that we always dream of? The relationship that we always yearn for despite we tell the world we are fine being alone. And for this, I couldn't give credit to the current me enough for taking care of us so well that most of the time we really enjoy the time being alone. 

    

Dear current Me,

        Thank you. We couldn't thank you enough to be the bravest girl ever, bringing us to where we are today. The younger us are so proud and we would tear up whenever the reality reminds us you are living the dream we have been dreaming of for years. I think we sometimes kinda selfish, for keep dwelling in the old past memories. Thank you, for being so understanding and patient these days. You are our idol and we admire so much. You openness, passionate soul, courageous, hardworking and positive mind are the most attractive assets that this soul has. We hope our past experiences did some magic in this journey. We want to be part of this wonderful journey but some of us have to stay with the scar forever, but if some are lucky enough, it will be forgiven and forgotten. Leave us more nutrients and love.

        The current me has started liking me as me. It really takes time but the progress has been so well so far. We love us, regardless which stages we were/are. Perhaps we could be more patient with some wounds and keep spreading love. 

Goodnight love, xoxo.

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